By Mohammad Chappalwala 

Gender-based violence takes many forms. One of the most extreme, I think, is female genital cutting/mutilation (FGM/C), which causes harm to the youngest and most vulnerable members of our society. Being a male member of a community that practices this, I believe it is my responsibility to spread awareness regarding this harm that is often done to seek control of the sexuality of women. 

On 26th December, 2022, Sambhaavnaa Institute of Public Policy and Politics incorporated FGM/C into its Nayi Dishayein workshop, a 12-day course educating youth from across India on a wide range of issues, from development and the confines of patriarchy to environmental conservation and sustainable living. We, along with our participants, challenged our beliefs, views, convictions, and privilege resulting from the enduring power structures that stem from the social markers of caste, gender, religion, and class; and how they are linked with the notion(s) of development.

We began with a brief introduction to the practice of FGM/C, and discussed the different types practiced within different communities around the world. We looked at this form of gender-based violence through the lens of patriarchy, and examined how patriarchy enables gender violence, controls the sexuality of women and other genders, and expects conformity. After this, we issued a trigger warning and screened the movie, A Pinch of Skin for our participants. The film was followed by a short presentation detailing the practice of FGM/C and its categorization as a human rights violation by the World Health Organization. 

I find the fact that male members of my community are either unaware of FGM/C, or choose to stay away from the cutting of their loved ones, to be deeply unsettling. My community is the Dawoodi Bohra community, where this practice is exercised discreetly – nobody talks about it. Usually, the mother and grandmother of the child decide to take her to a local practitioner, who gets the job done. Often these practitioners are not even medically trained. 

In 2019, my team and I had the opportunity to attend Sahiyo’s FGM/C retreat and learn from Dr. Sheroo Zamindar, an obstetrician-gynecologist from Ahmedabad. With this knowledge base and our own learning, we were able to educate participants of this recent session on FGM/C, which is what we believe to be a crucial part of any discussion chronicling gender-based violence. This February 6th, International Day of Zero Tolerance for FGM/C, we, as male allies, must wholeheartedly commit to becoming pioneers in the conversation to end this practice and protect those we love. 

 

Mohammad Chappalwala is an autodidact environmentalist who left his corporate job and the hustle of the city to live in the mountains and work for the community. He is passionate about contributing to social movements that deal with the fundamental rights of the people, and strongly believes in the work of Sahiyo; he likes to provide complete support to stop FGM/C as a Bhaiyo, or male ally. He is a programs convener at Sambhaavnaa Institute of Public Policy and Politics, Himachal Pradesh.

Today, on International Day of Zero Tolerance for Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting, Sahiyo is proud to release our program impact report, Bhaiyo: A Male Ally Initiative to Support Ending Female Genital Cutting. The report spans the duration of our Bhaiyo program, from its creation in February 2021 through December 2022, and covers our challenges, lessons learned, and future paths for growth. 

Bhaiyo, meaning ‘male friends’ or ‘brothers’ in Bohra Gujarati, was launched to create a space where male allies can collaborate, spark dialogue, and spread information about the harms of female genital cutting (FGC). In particular, Bhaiyo participants work by engaging communities at the grassroots level to address and build awareness of the harmful nature of this practice and its consequences on their loved ones and the community in general. 

Since the program’s launch: 

• 15 men joined the Bhaiyo program

• 13,247 people engaged with our public awareness campaigns

• 36 people participated in our public awareness campaigns

• 176 people attended Bhaiyo male-engagement webinars

• 28 blog posts written to uplift the voices of male activists

• 81.3% of members have joined additional programming efforts after joining Bhaiyo

February 6th is a day for activists, advocates, and stakeholders to come together, raise awareness, and advocate for the end of FGC. Today, and for the rest of the month of February, we’re uplifting the work of Bhaiyo because we’re proud of the program’s accomplishments. We hope you’ll take the time to learn more about how we’ve been engaging men in the work to support survivors and prevent FGC for future generations.

 

“Bhaiyo allows men to have open and honest conversations about a topic they may or may not know but should be important to them. As brothers, it’s our collective responsibility to leave the world safer than we found it for those that we love. Bhaiyo aims to raise awareness to help advocates and survivors working to end FGC today.” ~ Murtaza Kapasi

 

We also have an upcoming Bhaiyo event that is open to the public!

Date: Thursday, February 23rd

Time: 9:00 am EST (New York) / 7:30 pm IST (India)

Who: Current Bhaiyo members & Prospective Bhaiyo members (anyone interested in supporting male engagement on the topic of ending FGC)

Register: bit.ly/BhaiyoCommMeeting

 

To join our Bhaiyo program, please fill out this application form. 

On Monday, January 30th at 10:30am PST, SB 5453 concerning female genital mutilation/cutting (FGM/C) will be called for a hearing by the Washington state Law and Justice Committee. The bill, which was only introduced on January 18th, aims to: create a private right of action for survivors of FGM/C; prohibit providers from performing FGM/C on a minor; establish education and outreach initiatives to prevent FGM/C; provide care for victims and families of FGM/C.

If you live in Washington or have expertise on FGM/C, here are ways to voice support for the passage of legislation:

1. Provide oral testimony during the hearing either in-person or virtually by signing up here. 
2. Submit written testimony with this link. Please note that written testimony is due within 24 hours after the hearing.
3. Vote in support of the bill without providing any oral or written testimony here.
4. Sign this Change.org petition created by Abid and Maryum Saifee (this can be done in combination with any of the other options).

For more information, take a look at the Washington Coalition’s factsheet to learn more about this bill and its significance.

 

Statement from the Washington Coalition:

We are a newly formed Coalition working to end the practice of female genital mutilation/cutting (FGM/C) in the State of Washington. We comprise a broad group of survivors, stakeholders and advocates. Forty US States have laws banning the practice of FGM/C. Washington has yet to address this important human rights issue in any manner. This proposed legislation SB 5453 under review today is a good first step towards ending the practice and supporting survivors in Washington State.

 

Review the Washington Coalition’s factsheet to learn more about this bill and its significance. Additionally, in case you missed the hearing, click here to watch! 

Portuguese/English Version

O Amor-próprio é
voltar à tua infância, 
e enfrentar os monstros na cara.
É dizer em alto e bom som,
já basta.
É fazer das tuas entranhas,
poesia deliberada.
É permitir-te existir sem atalhos,
nem rimas que outros compõem para ti. 

Self-love is the first step
to collective-love.
We need them both.
The self- without -love,
is empty.
While -love without self-
is meant to be revolutionary,
is enhancing one's spiritual growth.

O amor-próprio practica-se com autocuidado,
e cuidados colectivos.
Desejo pois muitos cuidados ao mundo!
Que os cuidados sejam políticos para não serem misericordiosos, caritativos, acomodados,
selectivos, utilitaristas, interesseiros ou indulgentes.
Que os cuidados sejam mútuos, recíprocos, comunitários, universais, deliberados, imparciais,
incondicionais e solidários! 

"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of poltical warfare". (Audre Lorde)

 

English version

Self-love is
going back to your childhood,
and facing the monsters in the face.
It's saying it loud and clear,
enough.
It is to make of your entrails,
deliberate poetry.
It's allowing yourself to exist without shortcuts,
nor rhymes that others compose for you.

Self-love is the first step
to collective-love.
We need them both.
The self-without-love,
is empty.
While -love without self-
is meant to be revolutionary,
is enhancing ones spiritual growth.

Self-love is practiced with self-care,
and collective care.
I therefore wish us all much collective care!
Care should be political not to be merciful, charitable, accommodating,
selective, utilitarian, self-serving or indulgent.
May care be mutual, reciprocal, communal, universal, deliberate, impartial,
unconditional and supportive!

By Olachi Nwagwu

What does self-love mean to you? 

In bell hooks' book All About Love, she defines love as an action, not a feeling. She explores love as a combination of "trust, commitment, care, respect, knowledge, and responsibility." So based on this, my definition of self-love would be that combination of trust, commitment, care, respect, knowledge and responsibility towards myself.

How do you practice self-love? 

I practice self-love by taking care of my physical, psychological, spiritual, professional, and social health through activities such as exercise, hobbies, meditating, taking breaks from work, and spending time with people I care about. These especially help in building my self-esteem, which in turn builds my self-love.

Why do you think self-care is important? 

I think self-care is important because it helps maintain our overall well-being. I consider my self-care in five categories: physical, psychological, spiritual, professional, and social. I find that a combination of any care under these five categories helps me build and maintain my self-love.

Why do you think it is important to practice self-love? 

I believe it is important to practice self-love because it helps cultivate a healthy sense of self-worth, self-responsibility, and self-acceptance. 

How do you encourage yourself and your peers to practice self-care and self-love?

I try to inspire myself and others to prioritize self-care and self-love by setting an example of self-care and self-love in my own actions, emphasizing the significance of looking after oneself, and sharing information and suggestions for self-care activities. 

From your perspective, what is the connection between body image and self-love? (how are they related?)

I strongly believe there is a close relationship between self-love and body image, as the way an individual views their body can significantly affect their overall self-esteem. In the current society we live in, it is essential to cultivate a positive body image and to understand that self-worth is not solely determined by appearance.

What is one thing you did for yourself today?

One thing I did for myself today was go shopping with my roommate. This helped me relax and not feel overwhelmed or rushed by work or school.

When do you think it is most important to practice self-love?

It is most important to practice self-love when feeling overwhelmed or stressed, as it can help cope with difficult emotions and situations better. It can also help make better decisions in the moment when you've taken a step back and evaluated everything.

Do you have any New Year's resolutions on how to love yourself better this month and the rest of the year?

I think this question can be answered with another quote from bell hooks' book All About Love: 

"Self-acceptance is hard for many of us. There is a voice inside that is constantly judging, first ourselves and then others. That voice enjoys the indulgence of an endless negative critique. Because we have learned to believe negativity is more realistic, it appears more real than any positive voice. Once we begin to replace negative thinking with positive thinking, it becomes utterly clear that, far from being realistic, negative thinking is absolutely disenabling. When we are positive we not only accept and affirm ourselves, we are able to affirm and accept others."

Therefore, one of my New Year's resolutions is to make an effort in prioritizing self-care and self-love daily, particularly through affirmations. 

By Sushma Mahadeo 

What does self-love mean to you? 

To me, self-love is about loving yourself unconditionally. It means being proud of yourself on your good and bad days. It's about being able to look in the mirror and fully accept and like who you are, even if you have insecurities. It's knowing that you are important just by being on this earth, and worthy of respect. If you love yourself, you don't tolerate disrespect from others.

How do you practice self-love? 

I practice self love through words of affirmation and gratitude. Most of my life, I've struggled with low self esteem due to anxiety and depression. However, as I've gotten older, I've realized the importance of having a positive self concept, especially to counter anxious or depressive thoughts. I used to think people were lying if they complimented me, especially if they called me beautiful, because I didn't see it in myself. However, I've realized I can retrain my brain to see myself in a better light by making a habit of reinforcing positive beliefs through words of affirmations. I also practice gratitude, and it helps remind me of how abundant my life already is. Gratitude helps put things into perspective sometimes when I'm feeling down about myself. Additionally, I do simple acts of self-care, such as taking time to exfoliate or use a new face mask. Little acts of self-care help me feel more special about myself.
 
How do you encourage yourself and your peers to practice self-care and self-love? 

I constantly send my friends positive text messages with words of affirmation or reminders of how amazing they are and how much I appreciate and love them. I always tell my friends to be kind to themselves and take care of themselves because they matter, more than whatever is stressing them out. I follow my own advice as well, and reinforce the same affirmations to myself.

From your perspective, what is the connection between body image and self-love? (how are they related?)

From my experience, I've disliked myself more when I had a terrible body image; I didn't feel confident, or worthy of happiness. I think society keeps trying to impose certain beauty standards and the idea that once we look a certain way, then we can be happy, and only then are we worthy of love and good things. However, those ideas and standards are so harmful, and make so many individuals unhappy. Self-love is about realizing that beauty is unique and that we can appreciate how other people look while also appreciating what we see in the mirror. It's also about realizing that we are deserving of the best things in life regardless of how we look.

What is one thing you did for yourself today? 

I stretched and exercised my body. Not only did the exercise help me feel good, but I gained a better appreciation for my body.

When do you think it is most important to practice self-love? 

I think it's most important to practice self-love when you're not feeling great about yourself. But it's also important to practice it when you have good days because you deserve to enjoy yourself everyday.

Do you have any New Year’s resolutions on how to love yourself better this month and the rest of the year?

My goal is to continue reinforcing positive beliefs about myself, especially with affirmations to improve my confidence.  Below is a picture of a gratitude journal because I am trying to use one to improve my self-love.

Naquia is a Research Associate at Cornell University where she studies public health policy, homelessness, and health inequities. She recently graduated from the University of Michigan with a degree in Public Health and a minor in Spanish. She is passionate about destigmatizing sexual and reproductive health, supporting immigrant and refugee communities, and promoting cultural humility in health care. Naquia will be attending medical school in 2023 and aspires to become an OB/GYN. 

What was your experience of learning about female genital cutting (FGC) for the first time like?

I learned about FGC for the first time when I was taking a gender and health class during my first year at the University of Michigan. When my professor mentioned the name of my own community during the lecture, I was shocked and confused. I later learned that while I was not subjected to the practice, nearly every generation of women in my family was forced to undergo FGC quietly, secretly, and without consent. Learning about FGC and its impact on the people I love and care about has driven me to create a safe space for survivors to share their stories. 

When and how did you first get involved with Sahiyo?

Although I had learned about FGC from an academic perspective as a public health student, I struggled to begin questioning the practice in my own community where talking about women’s bodies was taboo. After graduating from college last year, I wanted to support an organization that centers the experiences of survivors and communities affected by FGC. I learned about Sahiyo from a close friend and decided to apply to become a volunteer. 

What does your work with Sahiyo involve?

I’ve been involved in the Critical Intersections Research Project, which aims to understand the impact of different social oppressions, such as Islamophobia and systemic racism, on the movement to end FGC. I’ve been able to use my background in research to help support this work by interviewing activists and providing qualitative analysis. Connecting with activists and grassroots organizations has greatly expanded my understanding of the broader context of FGC within structural oppression, as well as the complex challenges activists face in ending FGC. 

How has your involvement with Sahiyo impacted your life?

As someone who comes from a community that practices FGC and aims to become a physician who can provide care with cultural humility, my involvement with Sahiyo has significantly impacted my life. For years, I felt alone and discouraged when trying to talk to members of my community about FGC; through Sahiyo, I’ve been able to connect with a supportive network of survivors and allies, learn from the experiences of activists, and gain courage to talk to my family members and other community members with sensitivity. 

What words of wisdom would you like to share with others who may be interested in supporting Sahiyo and the movement against FGC?

Silence is one of the most pervasive challenges in the movement to end FGC, but speaking out can come in many different forms. Whether it means sharing information on social media, having a challenging conversation with a family member, or prioritizing your own mental health, activism and healing will look different for everyone. I am incredibly grateful for Sahiyo in providing me with the guidance and support to become a life-long advocate.

By Trisha Kini

Body image, which is closely tied to mental health and general wellbeing, refers to the way one perceives their body and the positive, negative, and/or neutral feelings that arise from that perception. Whether it is in relation to skin, hair, or the shape/size of a body part, body image influences people in different ways. Oftentimes, body image has an impact on self-acceptance, self-love, and self-esteem (Canadian Mental Health Association, BC Division, 2015). 

Beauty standards, which can be shaped by society, our peers, friends, and family, are some of the largest driving factors for the expectations we see for body image today. The beauty standards we observe in films and media that are closely tied with ethnicity, race, body shape, and other features influence viewers to believe that those are the features a human should possess to be attractive and desirable. These expectations have changed over time with ever evolving movies, television shows, magazines, and social media. Today, these standards are often unrealistic, and cause many people to struggle with body image. 

Although struggling with one's perception of their body may not be uncommon, it can be detrimental to one’s identity, growth, and mental health. In this blog post, we will explore how body image can impact survivors of female genital cutting (FGC), and provide resources on how to navigate conversations related to body image, self-love, and FGC. 

 Lena describes her experience with FGM/C and the shame she felt

FGC survivors can be impacted by body image

It is imperative to acknowledge that survivors of FGC are impacted by body image in ways that non-survivors may not be able to relate to. Body image, and the negative feelings that arise, can also prevent survivors of FGC from seeking medical care due to stigmatization associated with female genitalia, as well as women’s and gender non-conforming, non-binary individuals’ bodies. This impact can deter survivors from enthusiastically seeking healthcare or trusting their health provider. Additionally, survivors of FGC may struggle with body image in a way that also impacts sexual activity.

Centering survivors in conversations related to body image

When talking with survivors about body image, it is important to center survivors in the conversation. Listening, and reflecting on their feelings with regard to their experiences with body image can allow more space for survivors to feel heard and validated. Keeping in mind that everyone’s relationship with their bodies differs based on their life experiences can be helpful when navigating conversations surrounding body image, self-love, and acceptance. Expressing your appreciation for their trust in sharing, and encouraging their growth and journey in understanding their relationship with themselves can also be validating and allow the person sharing to feel more comfortable with expressing their feelings. 

Learn more

To learn more about seeking support and supporting survivors of FGC, we have included several resources below. We hope to elevate more conversations about self-love, and encourage our community to share these resources and talk more about the measures and steps you take to practice self-love, self-care, and body positivity. 

Resources on how to Support FGC Survivors:     

• United Against Female Genital Cutting - Sahiyo Resources
• Sahiyo - United Against Female Genital Cutting - Survivor Support Resources
• Sahiyo - United Against Female Genital Cutting - FGC Survivor Support Line
• Voices to End FGM/C Website

Non-Sahiyo Resources: 

• Survivor Mental Health Support Group
• About FGC and Mental Health
• U.S. Network to End FGM/C Resources