Shelby joined Sahiyo US as an intern with the Development Team in June 2021, and transitioned into the role of Development Coordinator in September 2021. She is currently a graduate student at Cleveland State University studying Applied Social Research. Shelby is passionate about female-founded organizations and is excited for the opportunity to contribute to Sahiyo’s mission.

When and how did you first get involved with Sahiyo?

I started with Sahiyo US in June 2021 as a development intern. In September 2021, I transitioned to the role of Development Coordinator. I’m thrilled to be working with the Sahiyo team! 

What does your work with Sahiyo involve?

 As the development coordinator, I research grants and funding opportunities to support our programs, activist retreats, and general operating expenses. I help with the writing process when submitting grant proposals and create monthly campaign emails to help ensure that Sahiyo has the monetary resources to carry out their mission.  

How has your involvement with Sahiyo impacted your life? 

Before working with Sahiyo, I was unaware of FGC and the impact on women and girls around the world. I have been involved with previous support groups for survivors of sexual violence on college campuses, and I have enjoyed working for an organization like Sahiyo that speaks out against violence. I love working with a team that has a passionate spirit and uplifts the voices of other women. Sahiyo has such a loving and supportive community that I feel truly honored to be a part of.  

What words of wisdom would you like to share with others who may be interested in supporting Sahiyo and the movement against FGC? 

The Sahiyo staff and volunteers are constantly challenging social norms, speaking out against FGC, and continuously proving themselves to be an organization that fulfills their goals. Sahiyo reminds me that there are people out there who care about ending violence against women (FGC specifically) and execute their goals in such a creative and powerful way. 

Event: Sahiyo Discusses: Seven by Farzana Doctor

Date: October 13th, 2021

Tme: 8 pm EST

Registration Link: https://www.flipcause.com/secure/cause_pdetails/MTI0Mzc5?mc_cid=58973cee37&mc_eid=UNIQID  

Starting this October 2021, Sahiyo is officially launching our book club, Sahiyo Discusses, with our inaugural event, Sahiyo Discusses: Seven by Farzana Doctor. 

Designed to bring people together through literature, art, and media, this club will host quarterly meetings to bring together activists and allies in Sahiyo’s network to discuss the chosen piece of media. With themes ranging from feminism, equality, bodily autonomy, women-centered movements, and sexual empowerment - this club will focus on uplifting the stories and experiences of women everywhere.  

Our first meeting will be held on October 13th, at 8 pm EST over Zoom. We will be joined by Farzana Doctor, who will talk about her novel, Seven. 

Seven explores themes of family, culture, politics, and FGM/C with a surprising ending. Sahiyo Discusses members will have the opportunity to discuss the book with Farzana as well as ask pertinent questions. 

Admission to Sahiyo Discusses will be on a pay-what-you-can basis, with a recommended suggested $10.00 USD donation per event.  

If you or anyone in your network is interested in joining us please register and donate here. 

Thank you all for your continued dedication to Sahiyo’s mission, and we look forward to seeing you all there! 

પ્રિય માસી એ એક કોલમ છે, જે સેક્સ અને સંબંધ વિષેની એવી બધી બાબતો પર ભાર મૂકે છે, જેને પૂછવામાં તમને ડર લાગતો હોય! આ કોલમ સહિયો અને WeSpeakOut વચ્ચેની એક ભાગીદારી છે. તે આપણા બધા માટે છે, જેમને ફીમેલ જેનિટલ કટિંગ (એફ.જી.સી.) અથવા ખતના અને તેની આપણા શરીર, મન, સેક્સ્યુઆલિટી અને સંબંધો પર કેવી અસર પડે છે તે વિષે પ્રશ્નો હોય. બોહરીઓમાં, માસી એટલે તમારી મમ્મીની બહેન. અમે તમને અહિયાં તમારા પ્રશ્નો મોકલવા માટે આવકારીયે છીએ. જો તમને કોઇ સંકોચ થાય તો, મહેરબાની કરીને ઉપનામનો ઉપયોગ કરી શકો છો (તમારું સાચું નામ વાપર્યા વિના).

प्यारी मासी,

मैं चालीस साल की तलाकशुदा औरत हूँ। हाल ही में मेरी मुलाकात एक अच्छे, गैर-बोहरा आदमी से हुई है और हम करीब आ गए हैं। क्या मुझे उसे खतना के साथ अपना अनुभव बताना चाहिए? मैं उससे बातचीत कैसे शुरू करूँ? क्या वह पुराना सदमा छेड़ना ज़रूरी है?

—तलाकशुदा दुरिया

प्यारी तलाकशुदा दुरिया,

आपका नया रिश्ता आपको मुबारक हो! आपने ऐक समजदार सवाल उठाया हैं। इस बारे में मैं यह कहूँगी कि निजी जानकारी शेयर करना हमेशा आपकी इच्छा और मर्ज़ी के अनुसार करना चाहिए। चलिए, इसके कुछ फायदे-नुक्सान पर ध्यान देते है।

पहले लाभों के बारे में बात करते है:

लाभ # 1: अपनी राज़ को शेयर करने से प्यार और विश्वास पैदा हो सकता है। सदमा अक्सर गुप्तता, शर्म और एकलता में होता है। इसलिए किसी अजीज़ के साथ बात करना सेहतमंद हो सकता है। यह ख़ामोशी को तोड़ने के साथ-साथ आपका अकेलापन भी कम करता है।
लाभ # 2: जब हमारे अपने यह समझने लगेंगे कि सदमा कैसे हमें जज़्बाती, जिस्मानी या यौन रूप से तकलीफ़ देता है, तो वे हमारे इलाज में बेहतर साथी हो सकते हैं।

मिसाल के तौर पर, कभी-कभी किसी के छूने से मैं जम जाती हूँ। मेरे साथी को यह पता है। वह खतना के बारे में जानता है और इसलिए रुककर फिर से स्थिर होने में मेरी मदद करता है।

गौर कीजिये कि कौनसी बातें आपके सदमे को छेड़ सकती है, और फिर अपने प्रियजनों को समझाए कि वे आपको कैसे सहारा दे सकते हैं ।

सावधान: अपने दर्शकों को जानें।

चलिए अब संभावित खामियों की बात करते है:

खामी # 1: यदि आपके प्रियजन उतने हमदर्द नहीं हैं और/या यह नहीं समझते हैं कि खतना तकलीफ़देह हो सकता है, तो वे अनजाने में आपके एहसासों को नजरंदाज कर सकते है या नकार सकते हैं। यदि आप इसके लिए तैयार नहीं हैं तो यह दुबारा तकलीफ़देह महसूस करा सकता है।

अपनी कहानी शेयर करने से पहले जानकारी शेयर करके आप इसे कम कर सकते है। इसके लिए मैंने यह ब्लॉग पोस्ट लिखा है। अधिक उपयोगी लेखों और वीडियो के लिए सहियो ब्लॉग और वी स्पीक आउट वेबसाईट देखें।

खामी # 2: अपना सदमा शेयर करना, फिर चाहें वह अपनों से ही क्यों न हो, हमें महरूम महसूस करा सकता है। अगर आपको लगता है कि आपके साथ ऐसा हो सकता है, तो अच्छा दोस्त या सलाहकार जैसे किसी मददगार के संपर्क में रहें। आपको जो बताना है, उसे खुद ही दुहराए और देखें की आपके मन में क्या एहसासात पैदा होते है।

बातचीत कैसे शुरू करें:

खतना के बारे में बात करने के कई तरीके हैं। यहाँ एक मार्गदर्शिका है। आप पर लागू न होनेवाले स्टेप्स को छोड़ दें और अपने अंदाज में फेरफार करें।

1. प्रस्तावना:

मैं आपके साथ कुछ शेयर करना चाहती हूँ। यह बात बहुत ही पर्सनल और संवेदनशील चीज है।

आप मेरे अजीज़ हैं और आप मेरे लिए अहम हैं इसलिए मैं आपको यह बात बता रही हूँ।

मैं बस इतना चाहती हूँ कि आप मेरी बात सुनें और बाद में मैं आपके किसी भी सवाल का जवाब दूंगी।

क्या अभी बात कर सकते है?

2. उन्हें इस प्रथा के बारे में कुछ कुछ सामान्य मालूमात दें, लेकिन बहुत ज्यादा नहीं:

मेरे समुदाय में गुप्तांग काटने की एक प्रथा है। उसे खतना कहते है। यह मेरे साथ तब हुआ जब मैं बच्ची थी। इस विषय पर चुपके-चुपके बहुत कम बात होती है और इसे तकलीफ़देह समझा जाता है।

3. उन्हें खतना का आप पर पर्सनल असर बताएँ (यह हिस्सा अलग-अलग लोगों के लिए अलग-अलग हो सकता है, इसलिए निचे सिर्फ एक मिसाल दी गयी है):
वैसे तो मैं ठीक हूँ, लेकिन कभी-कभी इसके बारे में सोचकर मैं परेशान हो जाती हूँ, और हर बार, कुछ यौन स्थितियों में, मैं बहुत तनावपूर्ण हो जाती हूँ।

4. उन्हें बताएँ कि आपको उनसे क्या जरुरत है (बातचीत का यह हिस्सा भी बहुत अलग हो सकता है):

आपको अभी मुझसे कुछ भी कहने की या मेरे लिए अभी कुछ करने की जरुरत नहीं है। मैं इसे आपके साथ इसलिए शेयर करना चाहती थी क्योंकि यह मेरे जीवन के तजुर्बे का एक हिस्सा है। और आपको यह समझने में मदद मिलेगी कि मैं कुछ खास तरीकों से क्यों बर्ताव करती हूँ।

5. उन्हें कुछ साहित्य देने की पेशकश करें ताकि वे और ज्यादा मालूमात हासिल कर सकें:
आपके सवालों का जबाब देने में मुझे ख़ुशी ही होगी। अगर आप चाहें तो मैं आपको कुछ लेख और वीडियो भी बता सकती हूँ।

खैर, तलाकशुदा दुरिया, मुझे वाकई उम्मीद है कि आपका नया प्रेमी समझ जायेगा! अगर आप उन्हें बताने का फैसला करती हैं, तो हो सकता है कि यह आपके लिए इलाज का काम करें।

- प्यारी मासी

मासी उर्फ फ़रज़ाना डॉक्टर के बारे में

फ़रज़ाना एक उपन्यास लेखिका हैं और मनोचिकित्सक की प्राइवेट प्रैक्टिस करती हैं। वह WeSpeakOut और End FGM/C कनाडा नेटवर्क की संस्थापक सदस्य हैं। वह रिश्तों और लैंगिकता के बारे में बात करना पसंद करती है! www.farzanadoctor.com पर उनके बारे में और मालूमात करें।

दाऊदी बोहरा समुदाय के बारे में औरतों के रिश्तों, लैंगिकता, बेवफाई और खतना पर चर्चा करने वाला उनका नया नावेल, सेवन ऑर्डर  करें।

अस्वीकरण: फ़रज़ाना अच्छी सलाह जरुर देती है, लेकिन यह कॉलम हर किसी के निजी सवालों पर बात नहीं करता है और इसे पेशेवर चिकित्सा या मनोवैज्ञानिक देखभाल के विकल्प के रूप में इस्तेमाल नहीं किया जाना चाहिए।

Read the Gujarati version here, and the English version here.

By Richa Bhargava

Age: 20

Country: India

As a first year law student in Sonipat, India, I was exposed to the practice of female genital cutting (FGC) as a part of my sociology course. We discussed the practice briefly. The article that formed a majority of our discussion only spoke of the existence of FGC in African nations and made no mention of India or other countries around the world where women are subjected to the practice. I felt shocked and truly disturbed when I first learned about FGC, and as a result, my response was to read about it on my own accord. A little browsing led me to the discovery of the fact that FGC prevails in the Indian subcontinent as well. I read about the Bohra community, the absence of legislation and the organisations and people advocating to end this harmful and unnecessary practice.

Laws do not just force and punish. They deter, discourage and dissuade, too. Enacting and legislating laws raises awareness and empowers communities to change not only what people do, but what they think is right. It is vital for laws to continuously evolve with the changing norms and ideals of a society. 

FGC is a prevalent practice among the Bohra community in India. A study indicated that almost 75% of the women of this community who were interviewed have been cut. At present, many citizens are unaware of its presence in India. Lifting the veil off this practice is an essential step toward ensuring that a conversation regarding its harmful effects on young girls begins. Maneka Gandhi, a union minister, stated that there is a lack of proof regarding the existence of FGC in India, and there is no data to support its presence. The Ministry of Women and Child Development needs to conduct surveys and take appropriate measures to find all data that would make the legislators see the need for the enactment of a law against FGC. To avoid addressing the issue is to completely ignore its existence. A similar approach has been taken up by the Indian government over the years. Multiple accounts of women who have undergone FGC are out in the public domain and  provide substantial evidence to prove the presence of khatna, as it is known in the Bohra community. Yet, no legislation or statute has been formulated or enacted in India which would help survivors find an easy legal recourse. 

There is an imperative need to move beyond the pretext of not having enough data to prove FGC occurs in India. Hundreds of survivors have spoken up against this practice and have openly shared their painful accounts. Many survivors have shared that since khatna is secretive, making it unlawful could have a serious impact in curtailing it. According to Section 320 and Section 322 of the Indian Penal Code, causing grievous hurt to another person is a criminal offence, and FGC would automatically fall within its purview. Despite this, there has been no effort on the part of the legislators to specifically provide remedy to survivors. The Indian Constitution guarantees the fundamental right to life and liberty to all its citizens. Legal statutes like the Indian Penal Code and the Prevention of Children from Sexual Offences (POCSO) Act that penalise crimes should mention terms such as female genital mutilation/cutting, labia minora, etc., to provide appropriate legal recourse to women affected by this practice. 

India claims to be a welfare state that ensures the well-being of all its citizens. Refusing to ensure the safety of young girls who might be subjected to FGC is a contradictory act. Various jurists and legislators face the problem of deciding whether one fundamental right should be given more importance than the other. The proposed ban on khatna raises a similar obstacle. The Indian Constitution confers upon its citizens the right to equality, as well as the right to practice and profess any religion. There exists a constant clash between articles 14 and 15 defining right to equality and articles 25 and 26 defining religious rights. In particular, the rights guaranteed to people under article 26 pose a unique challenge before the courts. In recent years, courts have come to realise that the right to equality should be awarded more weight. Discrimination solely on the basis of one’s gender is highly dishonourable and unjust. In order to move forward, a distinction between social malpractices and actual religious practices needs to be made. Social norms disguised as religious practices infringing upon the rights of women need to be done away with. The right and autonomy over one’s body is crucial to live a respectful life.

People frequently wonder whether legislation can bring about change. Fear that criminalising FGC might result in a deeper continuation of it is felt by many and is a valid concern. However, often the notion that a new law can elevate conversation on FGC and create a discourse for all to engage in on the topic is overlooked. The existence and continuity of khatna cannot just be attributed to the fault of a community. With democratic ideals such as equality and freedom, the state cannot shy away from establishing and constituting laws that are in symmetry with these ideals.

By: Arwa 

Country of Residence: India

Today, I'm referring the most underrated topic 'khatna' or Female Genital Mutilation (FGM/C). I call it underrated because it doesn't seem like educated persons in my society are talking about it even a little bit. It's also called 'Khafz' in Islamic terms, and it's a ritual in the Dawoodi Bohra community.

Khatna usually takes place at the age of seven with girls. In the process of khatna, they cut the tip of the female sexual part 'clitoris' from the female genitalia with the use of a crude blade without giving any precautions. The purpose of doing that is to curb sexual desires. In some countries, it’s illegal, but India has no laws against khatna or FGM/C.

The World Health Organization (WHO) considers it harmful for girls in many ways and has no health benefits. It includes damaging healthy tissues in females and causes trouble with the natural function of girls' bodies. Many survivors have experienced pain, lifelong physical and psychological trauma. Some immediate complications include: 

• Severe pain;
• Excessive bleeding;
• Vaginal infections;
• Wound healing problems;
• Shock;
• And in some cases death.

Firstly, let me make this clear, I'm not against any religion but also do not support any religion in that way. What I mean is, I'm not against any religion but also I don't have blind faith in it. I think there's a major difference between beliefs and faith that our society needs to understand. I believe: If you do good, you will get good.

I have read many articles on FGM/C. Community guidelines say 'khafz take place for maintaining the taharat (pureness) and for spiritual purity.' After reading it I felt like I would burn from inside, what has the world come down to. My heart was broken. Cutting out a human body part for spiritual purity; why would god give you something which makes you spiritually impure and then ask you to cut it off to become spiritually pure? I really don't understand the logic behind FGM/C. What is the point of education that you are talking about? We are nurturing ourselves with modern education, reading about all atrocities going on in the world, when the same thing happens in our society; we are blind folded letting this happen. 

Many people have said that khatna is a good thing to do. It decreases sexual desires. So to that I ask, how do you know that a girl at age seven has sexual desires? Some had written in an article that it keeps the girl decent so girls won't enter into adultery later, so on that I'm asking, where is the evidence of that? 

If we want our daughters to be pure, let's teach them that they are strong and powerful women. They are in control of their own minds and bodies and they can use them wisely. 

When she was born, you promised to protect her.

At the age of seven, they trust their family and parents the most. Parents tell them not to interact with strangers or not to let anyone touch you in your private areas, still it's the family who takes them for khatna and allows strangers to touch and cut their girl's clitoris. Why do something terrible to your girl which can leave scars on a mental level? People have to change their minds about old rules and regulations which they follow in the name of 'tradition'. Families have a big role in ending FGM/C or khafz. Protect our girls.

Our girls matter!

I want to say a few things. I'm talking about this not for the sake of talking but for contributing to the voice that the Islamic religion (Bohra) seems to be avoiding. They have been avoiding it for years, but you can make sure they don't avoid contributing by talking about this.

Social media, I honestly believe, is one of the most powerful platforms. 

Otherwise also suppose- You are a teacher - you can probably discuss with your institution at the next assembly you can talk to your students about this. If you are in company you can hold a meeting in your office and talk about child abuse. Talk about this issue a little bit and tell people they need to speak up too. Maybe you can organise an activity or webinar regarding this issue. Whatever is in your capacity or power, do it please. It's a harmful and outdated practice that needs to stop. Use your voice. It will definitely take time to go away but it doesn't mean we keep sitting quietly.

They are survivors, not victims.

I'm a modern feminist and Bohra girl. I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor. I almost sat quietly, i didn't talk about it but then I realised I must and so must you. Time to step forward for our daughters.

Protest, speak up, fight for your daughters and let's hope that the world changes for the better. 

By Sandra Yu

On August 19th, 2021, Sahiyo and StoryCenter co-hosted a film screening and panel discussion to highlight voices from the Voices to End FGM/C Digital Storytelling workshop. The event showcased eleven new digital stories, created virtually by a global group of advocates and survivors of female genital mutilation/cutting (FGM/C), during January and February. Lola's transformation of shame to acceptance of her story is stunning to hear.

Mariya Taher of Sahiyo and Amy Hill of StoryCenter, two facilitators of the annual workshop, led an audience Q&A and presented storytelling methodology, while two guest speakers, Nafisa (pseudonym) and Lola Ibrahim (Yoruba, English), shared their experiences with the digital storytelling workshop itself. Of the eleven stories shown, three were premiered at the event and had not been released to the public yet. The full collection can be found here, with stories continuing to be released. 

The 2021 Voices digital collection succeeded tremendously in capturing the core concept of oppressive social norms. Almost reminiscent of short vignettes, each digital story actualized the abstract concept of social norms into concrete experiences. The stories stood individually as personal narratives of struggle, belonging, and community. Comparatively, this collection presented the larger struggles of individuals and collectives in battling gender-based violence. 

In response, audience members engaged deeply with each story, typing out messages with empathy and gratitude to each storyteller for taking up the challenge of telling their stories. It was uplifting to see how the digital stories could elicit such reactions of allyship and community-building, even within a Zoom chat. 

My personal highlight from the event was hearing Nafisa and Lola reflect on their experiences of storytelling and tackle the nuances of FGM/C in their respective communities. The digital storytelling workshop was evidently transformative, in similar and different ways for each participant. 

Lola’s transformation of shame to acceptance of her story is stunning to hear. Through the workshop, she found a close-knit community to listen and empathize with her story. By producing a digital story, she now engages a global community to respond to her story. 

Nafisa’s story is equally hopeful. Despite her anonymity, Nafisa proudly holds ownership of her story and continues to advocate against FGM/C. 

Sahiyo is excited to announce the upcoming 2022 Voices to End FGM/C digital storytelling workshop, as part of their continued partnership with StoryCenter. This workshop is open to all individuals who have a story to share about how they, or someone they know, have been impacted by FGC, and will be held virtually.

For those interested in taking part, please fill out the application by Friday, December 11, 2021.

Read more about the 2022 workshop and/or donate to support the Voices project.