Sahiyo’s U.S. Advisory Board provides strategic advice to the management of Sahiyo and ensures that we continue fulfilling our mission to empower communities to end female genital cutting, and create positive social change through dialogue, education, and collaboration based on community involvement. For November, we are featuring A. Renee Bergstrom, EdD, a survivor who has worked as an advocate for the abandonment of female genital cutting for decades.

1) Can you tell us a bit about your background?

I have been interested in using my story to help end Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting (FGM/C) for most of my adult life. I first became involved internationally in 1981 when I applied for a grant from the Women’s Desk of Lutheran World Federation that led to my spending two weeks in Geneva, Switzerland. I spoke with leaders involved in the FGM/C issue, including Marie Assaad, Egypt’s gentle warrior, who was then Deputy Secretary General of the World Council of Churches. The timing was not right politically for my voice to be heard. I would have been seen as another Western woman interfering in other cultures. A group of African women told me to go home and deal with my country’s cultural issues and then come back and compare notes on culture change strategies. This challenge inspired me to continue my college education. I graduated with two bachelor’s degrees from Winona State University in 1988 and 1989, a Master’s degree in adult education from the University of Minnesota in 1992, and a doctorate in education in leadership from Saint Mary’s University of Minnesota in 2009.

My professional career was with the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. I served as a phlebotomist for four years, a certified pulmonary function technologist for seven years, and as a patient education specialist for twenty-three years. I also served on the Mayo Clinic Program in Professionalism and Ethics Communication in Healthcare Faculty. I retired from Mayo in 2012. I was an adjunct professor in Women and Gender Studies at Winona State University in 2010 and 2011. In 2008, I became involved with the Academy of Communication in Healthcare and graduated as ACH Faculty in 2017.

My female justice advocacy included mentoring a dynamic young Somali woman, Filsan Ali. In 2015, we produced a brochure for pregnant, infibulated Somali women to share with their physicians or midwives to promote shared decision-making regarding labor and delivery. We distributed the brochures throughout the United States. In the summer of 2016, Filsan and I were interviewed by John Chua, PhD, for his documentary, The Cut. I participated in the End Violence Against Girls Summit on FGM/C in Washington, D.C. on December 2, 2016. On the same day The Guardian published my story including a portion of Dr. Chua’s documentary. I have since been interviewed by several others, including photojournalist Meeri Matilda Koutaniemi of Finland who is writing a book about FGM/C survivors. 

After going public, two other white Christian North American FGM/C survivors reached out to me. They are younger than my children. One woman came to my home, and we worked with the other by phone to write an article that we seek to publish. Although most Christian denominations do not condone FGM/C, we hope to reach Christian readers from churches that do. Our stories may help others have the courage to speak. Christians need to face the damage done by misinterpreting Biblical passages in order to control women. 

2) When did you first get involved with Sahiyo and what opportunities have you been involved in?

I was invited to participate in the Sahiyo Stories in Berkeley, California, in May 2018. I so appreciated the opportunity to decide for myself which aspect of my story to tell and illustrate. After much contemplation, I chose to focus on being silenced because it had the greatest long term impact on my life. The Story Center staff provided excellent professional guidance in shaping the videos. The shared community spirit was an additional blessing and key to our ability to complete the daunting process of revealing such personal parts of our lives. 

I participated with Mariya Taher in showing Sahiyo Stories at the End Violence Against Women Conference at Lesley University, Cambridge, Massachusetts on November 9, 2018. I practiced my ACH Winter Course workshop that uses Sahiyo videos at the Knowledge and Evaluation Research (KER) unit at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, MN. I was encouraged to discuss with appropriate faculty the inclusion of the videos in Mayo Medical School curriculum on January 9, 2019. I facilitated an ACH Winter Course workshop entitled Patient Engagement Through Brief Focused Videos that featured our Sahiyo stories on January 31, 2019. It was well received, although participants were quite overwhelmed by the content. 

3) How has your involvement impacted your life?

I feel so blessed knowing that my story is now seen as helpful to young women who are standing up to their political, cultural and religious leaders to end FGM/C worldwide. Also, being free of the burden of silence has made me holistically healthier. I experience an ineffable spiritual uplifting.

4) What pieces of wisdom would you share with new volunteers or community members who are interested in supporting Sahiyo?

Sahiyo has wisely broadened their scope to include other cultures besides their original focus on the Dawoodi Bohra community. Universal attempts to control women’s sexuality is something for which we women of the world must unite. 

We must accelerate an end to FGM/C.

Every 11 seconds a girl somewhere in the world will go through female genital mutilation/cutting (FGM/C.)  The procedure is often extremely painful, and carried out with a crude, unsterilized instrument and without anesthesia.  Every 11 seconds.  

FGM/C has no medical benefits, and often has disastrous effects, including a lifetime of psychological trauma, difficulty urinating and menstruating, maternal and child mortality, lack of sexual fulfilment, and sometimes, most tragically, the loss of a girl’s life afterwards.

This violation of a girl’s fundamental human rights has no place in the world today. It must stop. Now.

Last June at the Women Deliver Conference held in Vancouver, for the first time, global FGM/C activists from Africa to Europe, from Australia to Asia and to North America; women and men, civil society organisations, champions, survivors, and grassroots representatives, all came together to unite voices around a global call to action to end FGM.

Together, we are asking, no imploring, the international community to prioritize the ending of FGM/C worldwide, in the same way it responded to other urgent global issues such as HIV/AIDS. 

It’s estimated that 200 million women alive today are survivors of FGM/C.  It is practiced on every continent except Antarctica. There’s no religious requirement for it, and it is practised in Muslim, Christian, Pagan, and even some Jewish communities.  

There can be little doubt that female genital mutilation/cutting is among the worst human rights violation perpetrated against women and girls in the world today.  The practice continues because it is a social norm held in place by the expectations of whole communities–women, men, elders, even politicians.

And it continues to be a taboo subject, hidden behind a wall of silence around the world.  This too must stop.

Next week, at the International Conference on Population and Development (ICPD) in Nairobi, where gender equality and reproductive and sexual rights are high on the list of priorities, there is a tremendous opportunity to shine a giant light on the issue of FGM/C and move it firmly to the top of the agenda where it belongs. 

Kenya’s President Uhuru Kenyatta, sitting beside Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau at Women Deliver in Vancouver just a few months ago, courageously committed to ending FGM/C in Kenya by 2022, eight years ahead of the Sustainable Development Goal of 2030.

It’s an ambitious promise, a challenging target for sure–but it shows leadership, it shows vision, it shows a commitment to the idea that girls’ human rights must be cherished, must be protected. We hope that other governments around the world will follow and commit resources, improved data and research, laws and policies to protect girls at risk, and support for survivors, so that together we can end FGM/C around the world.  

 The End of FGM/C is not just the end of a violation of girls’ human rights, it is also the start of increased economic development for practicing communities and has the power to be completely gender transformative. It is a proven fact that when girls and women fully participate in the economy of a country, it results in significant economic advancement.

And so, we ask the global community at the ICPD to join us, to work together on a multi-pronged approach to end FGM/C by 2030.  Whole communities must be mobilized and empowered at the grassroots level. Women and men, girls and boys, health workers, traditional and religious leaders, all have to be empowered to embrace the end of this harmful traditional practice.

We have to address the root causes of gender equality at the community level; we have to listen to and support grassroots organizations that are working in this field; we need an integrated, intersectional approach to ending FGM/C, recognizing the connections with other forms of gender-based violence and linking with existing movements.

We have to work with governments to respond to the adaptations to this violation of girls’ and women’s human rights, include medicalization, cross-border practices, and lowering the age of mutilation/cutting.

Accordingly, we call on all stakeholders to prioritize resources towards grassroots and community led programmes, and to make funding more flexible, sustainable, and accessible.  

Whatever our religion, our gender, our ethnicity, –the time has come for every one of us and all our governments to deploy every tool at our disposal to end this harmful practice.

FGM/C is a human rights emergency that continues to exact untold harm on a daily, hourly basis. Together we can end it. Sign up to the Global Platform for Action to End FGM/C today at www.ActionToEndFGMC.org.

This call to action has been endorsed by Amref Health Africa, Coalition on Violence Against Women, End FGM Canada Network, End FGM European Network, Equality Now, Orchid Project, Sahiyo, The Girl Generation, The Inter-African Committee on Traditional Practices, The US End FGM/C Network, There Is No Limit Foundation and Tostan. 

By Rashida Rangwala

In March 2019, I attended my second Sahiyo Activist Retreat. For me it was an occasion to meet friends I had made last year at the 2018 retreat, share the progress I had made as an activist over the course of the past year, and demonstrate how much the first retreat had helped me in achieving that progress. My anti-female genital mutilation/cutting (FGM/C) activism has involved talking to reporters and young students ranging in age from high schoolers to college students about the practice of FGM/C in the Bohra community. I have also counseled and educated young mothers and girls on FGM/C and its harmful impact on the girl child. 

I learned at the retreat to take a step back, slow down and listen to the pro-FGM/C people. Don’t make them so angry that they won’t talk to you and you reach a zero communication status. Give them a fair hearing, educate them, dispel misconceptions, break—slowly, but surely—break whatever resistance they have and poke holes in their thinking process until it completely falls apart, until they think for themselves, “Oh, wait a minute, I think I’m not going to do it to my daughter.” Start talking to the mother early and make her strong with knowledge about the harmful impacts of the procedure, so that when her child is seven years old, she makes an informed decision.

I spoke to a high school student that Sahiyo connected me with. She was writing a paper for her school project, interviewed me, and cried a little bit with me when I shared my story with her. I sent her pictures of myself to be used when she made her presentation. In the past, I would only give a name when I shared my story. But I realized that unless you have a picture to associate with the name, people can’t relate to your story on the same personal level. I’m now able to give my picture and have become more public when I share my story, something I didn’t do before the Sahiyo retreat because I was afraid to do so. 

Watch video here.

Right at the beginning, on day one of the Sahiyo Retreat, I was happy to see that we had nearly doubled the number of anti-FGM/C activist participants attending the retreat from 11 in 2018 at the first retreat to 21 in 2019. This time around, I had the chance to become acquainted with women from ages 21-28 years old. Talking to them over the course of the 3-days was very insightful. What amazed me was how self aware these young girls were about FGM/C. For me, FGM/C was vague knowledge that was always there in the back of my brain, but these girls knew exactly what had happened to them and were so aware of its consequences and so vocal about sharing their stories and being against it. That was a big insight for me. Perhaps this generational change could be because of social media; it’s in the news. They do have that advantage, which my generation did not. They have more sources of information today.

I was impressed with their courageous resolve to bring about change in thought in the Bohra community. To me, these young women were simply brave souls. Some of these young FGM/C survivors had opened up conversations with their mothers about performing the procedure on them. While others had yet to speak to their mothers about FGM/C, they were in the process of building up the stamina they needed to take up that challenging task. I had a chance to tell them, “Don’t delay it.” It’s too late for me. My mom passed away and I never got to talk to her.

It was amazing to see the collaboration between generations of women at this year’s retreat. We are certainly making progress in creating awareness in our community about how harmful FGM/C is to the girl child and we are bringing about a change in the thought process of the new generation so that they will abandon FGM/C. I am looking forward to the 2020 retreat and how it will spread our message slowly, but organically, one activist at a time. 

(This article was first published in English on December 10, 2016. Read the English version here.)

લેખક : અનામી

ઉંમર : 36 વર્ષ

દેશ : ભારત

હું એક માનસિક આરોગ્ય ચિકિત્સક છું અને છેલ્લા 16 વર્ષોથી હું તેનું કાઉન્સેલિંગ અને થેરાપી આપી રહી છું. મારા ઘરનાં લોકો મારી એક કઝિનની સેરિમનિ વિષે બોલતા હતા ત્યારે અનાયાસે જ મને ‘ખતના’(ટાઈપ 1 એફ.જી.એમ.) વિષે જાણવા મળ્યું. હું વધારે માહિતી મેળવવા માંગતી હતી. મને સમજાયું નહિં કે હું પણ તે પ્રક્રિયા હેઠળથી પસાર થઈ હતી. મને વધારે કંઈ યાદ નથી, બસ આટલું કે મને બળતરા થતી હતી અને ત્યારબાદ મારી માં અને નાની દ્વારા તપાસવામાં આવી રહી હતી.

તે એક હરામની બોટી હતી જેને મારા શરીરમાંથી કાઢી નાખવામાં આવી હોવાથી મારે તે વિષે ક્યારેય વાત કરવી જોઈએ નહિં તેવા વાતાવરણમાં હું મોટી થઈ. મને કહેવામાં આવ્યું હતુ કે હવે તુ શુદ્ધ થઈ ગઈ છે. હું મોટી થઈ તેમ મેં સાઈકૉલોજીનો અભ્યાસ કર્યો, હું એફ.જી.એમ. વિષેનો એક આર્ટિકલ વાંચતી હતી ત્યારે અચાનક જ મને સમજાય ગયું કે તે દિવસે મારી સાથે શું બન્યું હતુ. મને ધક્કો લાગ્યો પરંતુ, તેને સ્વીકારવા સિવાય મારી પાસે કોઈ વિકલ્પ નહોતો કારણ કે જે કંઈ બન્યું તેની કોઈ અસર સમજાઈ નહોતી – મારા પ્રગતિશિલ માં-બાપને પણ નહિં.

મારૂં જીવન અન્ય છોકરીઓની જેમ આગળ વધવા લાગ્યું. મારૂં લગ્ન જીવન, ખાસ કરીને સેક્સ પર તેની કોઈ અસર થઈ નહિં. મારૂં સેક્સ્યુઅલ જીવન અને ઑર્ગેઝમ્સ પણ સંતોષપૂર્ણ હતા અને મેં મહેસુસ કર્યું કે મારા પર ખતનાનીં કોઈ મોટી અસર થઈ નહોતી અથવા સાત વર્ષની ઉંમરે હું જે પ્રક્રિયા હેઠળથી પસાર થઈ તેનાં આઘાતનો સામનો કરવા મેં એ બાબતને એકદમ દબાવી દીધી હતી.

જો કે, મને યાદ છે કે બાળકનાં જન્મ સમયે મારે એપિસિઓટોમી પ્રક્રિયા કરાવવી પડી હતી. UNFPA દ્વારા કરવામાં આવેલ એક સ્ટડી અનુસાર, એક સામાન્ય બૈરીની સરખામણીએ જે બૈરી પર જેનિટલ કટિંગની પ્રક્રિયા કરવામાં આવી હોય તેને સિઝેઅરિયન સેક્શન અને એપિસિઓટોમી ની વધારે જરૂર પડે છે અને બાળકનાં જન્મ પછી વધારે સમય હૉસ્પિટલમાં રહેવું પડે છે.

આ વર્ષની શરૂઆતમાં પીઅર સુપરવિઝનમાં, મારી સાથે જે કંઈ બન્યું તેની પ્રક્રિયાને મેં ધીરે-ધીરે સમજી અને તેને જીવનનાં એક ભાગ રૂપે લીધી. મને એ બાબત પાછળથી સમજાઈ કે એફ.જી.એમ. ની અસરો થાય છે. હકીકતમાં તે આત્માને જખમો આપે છે અને આપણને આશ્ચર્ય થાય કે શું આ પ્રક્રિયા કરવી ખરેખર જરૂરી છે.

ખતના પ્રક્રિયા લાંબા સમય સુધી માનસિક તણાવ આપી શકે છે. કુટુંબનાં સભ્યો દ્વારા ભરોસો તોડવાની લાગણીને કારણે તે બચ્ચાઓનાં વર્તનમાં ગરબડ પેદા કરી શકે છે. મોટી છોકરીઓ પણ બેચેની અને તણાવ મહેસુસ કરી શકે છે.

જે આવી બધી બાબતો સમજે છે, તેવા એક મનોચિકિત્સક તરીકે શું હું ખતનાની ભલામણ કરીશ? ના, હું ભલામણ નહિં કરું કારણ કે, મને લાગે છે કે તેનો મુખ્ય હેતુ બૈરીઓની સેક્સ્યુઆલિટી પર નિયંત્રણ લાવવાનો છે. હું તેની વ્યાખ્યા લિંગ આધારીત હિંસા રૂપે કરીશ.

As Sahiyo’s U.S. operations and programs have grown, in 2018, we invited various individuals from a host of backgrounds and professions to join our inaugural U.S. Advisory Board. The advisory board provides strategic advice to the management of Sahiyo and ensures that we continue fulfilling our mission to empower communities to end female genital cutting (FGC) and create positive social change through dialogue, education, and collaboration based on community involvement.

This month, we are pleased to highlight Melody Joy Eckardt, who has graciously agreed to serve on the U.S. Advisory Board.

1) Can you tell us a bit about your background?

I am an obstetrician and gynecologist who specializes in global health. I graduated from Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, did my ob/gyn residency at Tufts New England Medical Center in Boston and practiced ob/gyn on the South Shore of Massachusetts before returning to get my Masters in Health from the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. After that time I began working internationally with the Division of Global Health and Human Rights at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) on issues related to women’s reproductive health and maternal mortality in developing country contexts.

I also had a faculty position in obstetrics and gynecology at Boston Medical Center (BMC) with a focus on Women’s Refugee Health. It was at BMC that I learned about Female Genital Cutting (FGC), and learned to do surgical procedures and specialized treatment for this issue. I now work full-time in global health at the Division of Global Innovation (Formerly the Division of Global Health and Human Rights) at MGH to train health care providers around the world on maternal health emergencies.

2) When did you first get involved with Sahiyo and what at opportunities have you been involved in?

I met Mariya through our work advocating for the FGC law in Massachusetts. We had the chance to testify and speak at a few engagements together. Through these times, I learned more about Sahiyo and the great work advocating to stop FGC with an emphasis on storytelling, which is such a powerful tool!

3) How has your involvement impacted your life? 

Sahiyo opened my eyes to just how far-reaching the practice of FGC is around the world. So many women are not even counted among the statistics. Furthermore, I am so inspired by women who join together to tell their stories, empower one another, and fight for a kinder, more respectful future for our daughters.

4) What pieces of wisdom would you share with new volunteers or community members who are interested in supporting Sahiyo?

You are joining a group of amazing people with the vision to truly change the world for future women. Don’t ever forget what a privilege it is to be part of such an amazing team and that your cause is just and worth every ounce of effort you give it.

(This article was originally published in English on November 8, 2016. Read the English version here.)

नाम: अज्ञात

उम्र: 26

देश: संयुक्त
राज्य अमेरिका

शनिवार की स्कूल की क्लास में मैंने पहली बार इसके बारे में सुना। एक पुरुष शिक्षक उस शनिवार की सुबह हमारी क्लास में पढ़ा रहे ते, और विषय था खतना। उस 14 वर्ष की उम्र में, मुझे वास्तव में पता नहीं था कि इसका मतलब क्या है, लेकिन मुझे पता था कि इसमें कुछ ऐसा शामिल था जो यौन-शिक्षा से संबंधित था। मैं शर्मिंदगी भरी स्थिति में कमरे के दाईं ओर लड़कियों के साथ बैठी थी, और लड़के कमरे के बाईं ओर बैठे थे। शिक्षक ने पुरूष खतना के बारे में बोलना शुरू किया; कहा कि उसमें त्वचा को सर्जरी के द्वारा हटा दिया जाता है, स्वच्छता के लिए। उसके बाद उन्होंने महिला खतना के बारे में बताया; कि यह एक लड़की की यौन इच्छा पर अंकुश लगाने के लिए किया जाता था। लड़कियों को पवित्र, शांत और आज्ञाकारी बनाना था। छोटी लड़कियों का खतना करना उन्हें असंयमित होने से बचाने का एकमात्र तरीका था। यह उनके परिवारों को शर्मिंदा होने से रोकने का एकमात्र तरीका था।

मुझे याद है कि वहां बैठकर मुझे पता नहीं था कि मेरे शिक्षक किस बारे में बात कर रहे हैं। मुझे यकीन था कि मैं कभी भी इस प्रक्रिया से नहीं गुज़री थी। मैं उस दिन उस कमरे में बैठी हुई बहुत असहज और अशांत महसूस कर रही थी।

मुझे याद है कि उसी शनिवार को हम सहेलियां क्लास की एक बड़ी लड़की के घर रहने गए थे, जहाँ पर उस दिन क्लास में जो सुना था उस विषय पर बात होने लगी। मैं चुपचाप बैठी रही जब एक दूसरी लड़की ने समझाया कि यह प्रक्रिया लड़कियों पर क्यों की जाती है, कैसे यह हमें बेहतर मुसलमान और बेहतर बोहरा बनती है, क्योंकि खतना यह सुनिश्चित करता है कि हम में यौन इच्छाओं और विवाह पूर्व संभोग की चाह नहीं जगेगी। खतना ने हमें पवित्र किया था, हमें शुद्ध किया था। मैंने गौर से सुना जब अन्य लड़कियों ने अपनी खतना की कहानियों बताई। मुझे धोखा महसूस हो रहा था क्योंकि मुझे पता था कि मैं कभी भी इस “ज़रूरी प्रथा” से नहीं गुजरी थी। उस वक़्त मुझे इस ‘ज़रूरी प्रथा’ का सही मतलब नहीं पता था। मेरी समझ में सिर्फ यह आ रहा था कि मै उन लड़कियों के जैसी नहीं थी, कि मैं एक “बुरी लड़की” थी, कि मैं गंदी थी, और मैं सिर्फ एक अच्छी मुस्लिम होने का नाटक कर रही थी।

मुझे याद है कि आखिरकार कुछ हफ्तों बाद मैंने अपनी माँ से इसके बारे में पूछने की हिम्मत जुटाई। उम्मीद भरी आवाज़ से मैंने उनको पूछा कि क्या मेरे साथ यह हुआ था, और बस मुझे याद नहीं था? उनका चेहरा बदल गया । उन्होंने अपना सिर हिलाया। जब हम भारत में थे तब उनको हमेशा मेरे मेरा खतना करवाना था, लेकिन कभी मौका नहीं मिला। मैंने उनको अपने दोस्तों से सुनी हुई कहानियाँ सुनाईं और उनसे पूछा, क्या वह मुझे इस प्रक्रिया को समझा सकती हैं, क्योंकि मुझे अपनी क्लास में इसे समझने में परेशानी हुई थी। उन्होंने मुझे खतना की प्रक्रिया समझाना शुरू किया; कैसे एक लड़की के भगशेफ या क्लाइटोरिस से त्वचा को हटाया जाता है, उसे पवित्र और शुद्ध बनाने के लिए। जैसे ही मैंने पूरी बात सुनी, मैं डरकर पीछे हट गई। उन्होंने मुझे कुछ मिनटों तक देखा, और फिर अधिकार के साथ कहा कि अगली बार जब हम भारत जाएंगे, तो वह मुझे मेरी चाची, जो एक डॉक्टर हैं, उनके पास ले जाएँगी जो मुझ पर खतना करवाएंगी। मैं उनके सामने अपने घुटनों के बल बैठ गई, उनसे भीख माँगते हुए कि मेरे साथ यह न करें, भीख माँगते हुए कि इस अकल्पनीय दर्दनाक प्रक्रिया से ना गुजरने दें। मैंने उनसे वादा किया कि मैं अच्छी रहूँगी, मैं स्वच्छ रहूँगी, मैं वह कुछ भी करूँगी जो वह चाहती थी अगर वह इस पूरी बात को भूल जाएँगी। उनहोंने सिर्फ इतना कहा कि “हम देखेंगे।”

मुझे याद है बड़े होते हुए, मैं खतना के बारे में और अधिक शोध करती रही यह जानने के लिए कि आख़िर यह होता क्या है। एक बार मेरे चचेरे भाई ने बड़े जोश से बताया कि यह कितना गलत है। तब मुझे एहसास हुआ कि मेरी माँ ने मुझे कितने बड़े नुकसान से बचाया है।  आज मैं खतना को बहुत अलग नज़र से देखती हूँ।

कई युवा लड़कियों से उनका चुनने का अधिकार छीन लिया गया है। किसी ने उनसे नहीं पूछा कि क्या वे खतना कराना चाहते हैं। उनके परिवारों ने उनके अस्तित्व के एक हिस्से को चुराने का फ़ैसला कर लिया, इस बारे में कोई परवाह किए बिना कि इसका उन पर क्या असर होगा, और अक्सर अपनी अनमोल छोटी बच्चियों को अस्वच्छ और अनुभवहीन हाथों में देने का निर्णय लिया।

मुझे याद है कि महीनों पहले एक बड़ी फेसबुक चर्चा खुलकर बाहर आई, जिसमें मेरे पहचान की एक बहुत ही मुखर लड़की ने खतना के खिलाफ आंदोलन करने वालों पर पर आरोप लगाया कि वे बोहरा समुदाय की “गंदगी” को पब्लिक में बाहर ला रहे थे। उस पल के पहले मैंने अपने समुदाय के किसी व्यक्ति पर इतनी शर्म महसूस नहीं की थी। यह प्रथा गलत है, और इसका गैर-रजामंदी वाला स्वरूप मेरे लिए इसे और भी दिल दहलाने वाला और निंदनीय बनाता है। जब आपका समुदाय कुछ ग़लत कर रहा है, और इसे पैगंबर (अल्लाह उनको शांति दे) द्वारा सिखाई गई एक धार्मिक प्रथा के रूप में बता रहा है, तब आप इससे छिपकर भाग नहीं सकते हैं। आपको बहस करने के लिए मुँह खोलना पड़ेगा और चर्चा करना होगा कि हम एक समुदाय के रूप में बेहतर कैसे बन सकते हैं। आपको चर्चा करना होगा कि हम अपने समुदाय की युवा लड़कियों और युवा महिलाओं की सुरक्षा कैसे कर सकते हैं।

एक वैश्विक समुदाय होने के नाते हम इसे रोकने के लिए बहुत कुछ कर सकते हैं। मेरी मां ने मुझे बचाया था। उन्होंने मेरे लिए अपने प्यार को सबसे पहले रखा, और
आज उनकी वजह से मैं एक पूर्ण महिला हूँ। मैं उनकी सुरक्षा और मार्गदर्शन के लिए हमेशा आभारी हूं। सभी युवा महिलाएँ अपने शरीर पर समान सुरक्षा, समान प्रेम, समान सम्मान और समान अधिकार की हक़दार हैं। इतना तो कम से कम हम कर सकते हैं।

Missing Link

By Anonymous

No cuts, no wounds, but deep empathy for my sisters.
I came to NY for the 4th time but for an entirely different circumstance.

Being part of the Bohra community, I have made countless connections, some of who have been integral in my life. Yet, I still felt distant from the community that often lacked logic and ran high on emotion. Weird though, since I am kind of the same way at times.
Learning about FGM for the first time at 14, everything shifted. I have always had an ability to empathize with others, but this was something utterly outside of my scope.

I bowed my head and accepted that I will never understand the magnitude of this trauma,
but I can surely become part of a movement and advocate alongside. I can use my voice.
I can use my ability to empathize as a tool to heal the traumatic wounds.

The 2nd annual Sahiyo Retreat was nothing short of inspirational bliss.
I felt recharged.
I felt motivated.
I felt empowered.
To hear each survivor’s story and understand ways to take action–
it has become a movement.
A movement that I want to walk with.

While energy can subside, the power of one weekend still buzzes in my heart.

Knowledge, trauma, empowerment, change, community- all words
That have taken on a new meaning entirely.

As I wait for the next retreat, I continue to ask my self
What can I do, learn, ask different every day
to continue to be well-informed and a true
activist.

Thank you, Sahiyo
For bestowing this buzz of energy
And for helping me connect the
missing link
of emotion and logic.
And that link is
SISTERHOOD.

(This piece was originally published in English on November 25, 2016. Read the English version here.)

अज़रा एदनवाला

उम्र: 21

देश: अमेरिका / भारत

कुछ समय
पहले मैं साहियो नाम के एक संगठन से मुख्तलिफ हुई। उस समय तक मैंने अपने खतने के बारे में कभी सोचा नहीं था। सच कहु तो मुझे पता ही नहीं था की इसका मतलब क्या है। जब मैंने उन महिलाओं के लेखों को पढ़ा, जिनका खतना हुआ था, तब मुझे एहसास हुआ की इस भयानक परंपरा का एक शिकार मैं भी थी। मैंने तो बस इस याद को अंतर्मन में दबा दिया था, क्यूंकि मैं नहीं जानती थी की ये परंपरा कहाँ से आयी और इसका मतलब क्या है।

मैं शायद 5 या 6 साल की थी। अपने परिवार के साथ छुट्टी पर थी। गुजरात में कोई इलाका था, जहाँ तक मुझे याद है। इसके अलावा और कुछ याद नहीं, सिवाय दर्द से भरे कुछ छितरे-बिटरे पलों की।

मुझे एक गंदे से बाथरूम में ले जाया जाना याद है, साथ में एक पुरूष या एक महिला थीं, सफ़ेद कपड़ों में। मुझे कैंची याद है, और मुझे खून देखना याद है। मुझे रोना याद है। क्योंकि मेरे जननांगों पर एक पट्टी लगाई गई थी। मुझे याद नहीं है कि किसी ने मुझे बताया हो, कि मेरे साथ अभी यह सब क्या हुआ था या क्यों हुआ था। सब कुछ हमेशा की तरह चलता रहा, मानो कुछ घटा ही न हो। और मैंने भी उसे मान लिया, क्यूंकि मुझे यह पता ही नहीं था की मेरे शरीर के साथ क्या किया गया है।

वैसे तो मेरे खतना ने न ही मेरे मन पे कोई गहरी छाप छोड़ी है, न ही मेरे जीवन जो किसी तरह बदला है।

हालांकि जो चीज़ मुझे खुरेदती है वह यह है की आखिर ये शरीर मेरा है, और किसी को भी इसे बदलने का कोई भी अधिकार न तो कभी था, न है। खासकर वैसे हानिकारक बदलाव जो “जैसे चलता है, वैसे चलने दो” की सोच के साथ आएं।

तीन साल पहले मैंने अपना पहला टैटू करवाया था। जब मेरे एक रिश्तेदार ने मेरे शरीर पर इस टैटू को देखा, तो उन्होंने कहा, “तुम मुस्लिम हो। और हमारा धर्म यह बताता है कि शरीर को ठीक उसी तरह अपनी कब्र में लौटना चाहिए, जैसा की वह माँ की कोक से निकला था। दूसरे शब्दों में कहा जाए, तो हमें अपने शरीर में कोई बदलाव नहीं करना चाहिए और इसे वैसे ही स्वीकार करना चाहिए जैसा की हमें अल्लाह ने दिया है। अगर ऐसा है, तो मेरे गुप्तांगों को क्यों काट दिया गया? यह कैसा पाखंड है?

कोई भी धर्म सिर्फ अपने सुविधानुसार अपने नियम नहीं बना सकता। हमें यह समझना होगा की धर्म आखिर हमीं ने बनाया है, और हमें उन रीती-रिवाज़ो का पालन करना छोड़ना होगा जो परंपरा के नाम पर चलती आ रही है।

हम एक आधुनिक समाज में रहते हैं, और जहां हम अभी हैं उस जगह पर हम इसलिए पहुँचे हैं क्योंकि हमने परिवर्तन को अपनाया। महिला जननांग खतना इस्लाम में एक महिला के आस्था को निर्धारित नहीं कर सकता है। मुझे यह प्रथा बड़ी छिछली लगती है, और मुझे नहीं लगता कि किसी को भी इस प्रथा का पालन करना चाहिए, विशेष रूप से छोटे बच्चों को, जिनको पता ही नहीं है कि उनके साथ क्या हो रहा है।

हो सकता है की खतना का मुझपर ज़्यादा गहरा असर नहीं पड़ा है, लेकिन ऐसी बहुत सी महिलाएं है जिन पर असर हुआ है। प्रत्येक महिला को अपने शरीर पर अधिकार होना चाहिए क्योंकि ऐसे भगवन में विश्वास रखने का कोई मतलब नहीं है जो जाहिर तौर पर ऐसी भयानक और अमानवीय प्रथा का समर्थन करते हैं।