By Alifya Sulemanji

Country: United States

In the past few years, we have seen an increase in the awareness of FGM/C in the Dawoodi Bohra community, and it has led to many discussions amongst community members. There is a large number of people who were hesitant about the procedure, and due to a lack of awareness about the harmful effects of FGM/C have been carrying on with this ritual. Today, there is so much more information available for people who question the practice and want to know what it really entails. Today, their questions can be answered. Today, because of media awareness, even men from our community know that Khatna has happened to women they know; whereas for decades they were not aware.

Last year, after the New York Jammat (congregation) issued a letter to the entire community that banned FGM/C, many people in the community became aware that khatna was an act that violated human rights. The letter also made them aware that if anyone attempted to carry out FGM/C and they were caught, they would be prosecuted for doing so.

Recently, a mother from the community approached me and told me that she disliked that her older daughter had to go through khatna because her in-laws had pressured that the girl goes through it. She also told me that she was very happy that her younger daughter doesn’t have to go through this atrocity. She told me it was commendable to see that we were working to raise awareness about harmful effects of FGM/C within the Dawoodi Bohra community.

Another friend from India recently wrote me and told me that since she has read so much about FGM/C in the media, she has been able to gather the courage to say no to having her daughter undergo it. She also told me that she felt encouraged to say no to the practice after reading my Facebook post against Khatna, and after reading my FGM/C story on the Sahiyo website. My friend told me that she is still facing pressure from her mother-in-law to get it done to her daughter, but she is now trying her best to ensure that situation does not occur. She also told me that because or her own decision to not have her daughter undergo it, she has seen a ripple effect, and another friend of hers has also gathered courage to speak up and stand up for her daughter to ensure they don’t undergo it as well.

It is important to teach people that there is nothing good about khatna, it only leads to physical mental turmoil for little girls and women.

The theory behind this ritual is that after a girl has her khatna done, she will lose her libido and therefore, she will not stray from the marriage bed, and she will be loyal to her husband. This type of thinking is completely a misconception and is misinformation passed down by religious leaders.  

I have many non-Bohra/Muslim friends who don’t go through this procedure and who did not indulge in sex before they were married or who never engage in adultery, whereas I know women from the Bohra community who have had premarital sex in spite of undergoing khatna. Khatna has nothing to do with one’s sexual desire, but it certainly does takes away the woman’s pleasure or sexual satisfaction, which is unfair and cruel.

by Mubaraka Motiwala
Age: 18
Country: India

(This essay was first published on the Safe City blog on January 22, 2017)

Female genital mutilation (FGM), also known as female genital cutting and female circumcision, is the ritual removal of some or all of the external female genitalia.  

Ever wondered why it’s done?

Well I did and I found out what a heinous act it truly is.

In the summer of 2016, I went for a vacation and discovered that I too was a victim of FGM. This came as a complete shock to me; like a repressed memory it just zapped my brain and froze my memory. I was in the bus having a conversation with one of my Muslim female friends and in the midst of talking about religion she suddenly asked me if I was circumcised? At first I was confused and gave it a good thought but nothing came to me, so I said, “no, that wouldn’t have ever happened to me’’. Saying this, we continued with our conversation.

A month later a few people in my community started talking about it and I had a few college classmates come up to me asking me to be a part of the FGM movement or if I’ve experienced it. This led me to really think about this and finally when I was travelling back home one day the memory came rushing in and completely baffled me. I am in fact a victim of this preposterous act and was so utterly unaware and uneducated about it.

I was tricked into thinking that I’ll be getting chocolate and instead was taken to a shady-looking dimly lit house, where a lady was waiting for me and my grandmother. The lady asked me to lie down and spread my legs, which was an extremely strange thing for me to do. But my consent and opinion wasn’t taken into account, of course. She pulled my panties down and told me to stay still and that I won’t be hurt at all while my grandmother sat there, watching. And then it happened, she cut my clit and put some antiseptic but that didn’t stop me from crying out in pain and have a bruised vagina. Finally, I was given the promised chocolate and taken back home to  forget and mask the day’s event completely.

So my question is, why do we perform this practice?

Through my research I’ve found out that FGM is practiced by people because it is often considered necessary for raising a girl, and to prepare her for adulthood and marriage. It is often motivated by beliefs that it is imperative to perform this. It aims to ensure premarital virginity and marital fidelity and in many communities believed to reduce a woman’s libido and therefore believed to help her resist extramarital sexual acts so she can be loyal to her husband. FGM is carried out because it is believed that being cut increases marriageability and is associated with cultural ideals of femininity and modesty, which include the notion that girls are clean and beautiful after removal of body parts. Known as Khatna in certain communities, it is considered as a prestigious event and often celebrated and boosted by family members and society.

But in reality I think this practice is performed in attempts to control women’s sexuality and ideas about purity, modesty and beauty. The reason behind all kinds of genital mutilation is to restrict female sexual experience. It is usually initiated and carried out by women itself who see it as a source of honour, and who fear that failing to have their daughters and granddaughters cut will expose the girls to social exclusion and generate rebellious nature. And to my complete utter surprise no religious scripts prescribe the practice. Practitioners often believe the practice has religious support and is good for female health but there are no known health benefits.

So the truth is that nobody knows why we practice FGM but because it is imposed on us as a religious responsibility and as our ticket to be accepted and be married, we go along with it. Everybody has been lying to us telling us that this is the right thing to do and beneficial for our future.

This entire malpractice is existent to ensure and preserve patriarchy in societies. Us women are always controlled by someone or something for our entire life. This kind of behavior  makes us give in and accept the stereotypes that are actually abusive and violating to us. We are manipulated into submission and are to do what someone else commands us. Aren’t we all the creation of god and told that he gives us everything for a reason, then why take away our will and consent to decide if we want this to happen to us or not. What gives anybody the right to take away the will to have their own opinion and purloin a part of someone’s body parts. What gives another person the right to enforce such unacceptable and abysmal rituals!

We need to stand up for ourselves, ladies, and show people that we’re not empty vessels and we can’t be controlled to do whatever another pleases. We are human too.

Say no to Female Genital Mutilation.

By: Anonymous

Country: Singapore

Community: Malay Muslim

Growing up:

I was told as a child, that every girl had to go through it. There is basically NOBODY that you know who hasn’t gone through it. And I BELIEVED everything my mother said. 

Perceptions Ingrained in our Minds:

It is dirty, unhygienic, curbs your sexual desires. Basically, what their mothers tell them, they relay it back to us.

Working adult:

I became a nurse. I studied, learned, saw the anatomy of the human body. As a nurse, I cleaned the vagina of women of different ethnicities. Of course, I noticed the difference. They had the hood and the two labia folds, and I did not.

At that time, as a Malay Muslim, I firmly believed that “my vagina is cleaner” than those who were not circumcised. I felt I belonged to a much “higher status” because I was “cut” and they were not. My fellow female Muslim nurses shared the same sentiments.

Marriage:

I had an inter-racial Muslim marriage. I realized my sexual desire plummeted and I wasn’t really interested in sex much longer. I had a private conversation with my husband about it, and he was surprised that FGC was done in many Asian countries. He mentioned that as a Muslim himself, in his own country, FGC was not done. In his country none of his sisters underwent FGC.

Delivery:

I had a natural home birth for my first born daughter, assisted by my own husband.

The way the delivery occurred was unplanned, but it was the most beautiful experience for us both.

Post-Partum Worries:

The natural delivery left a stinging burning sensation on my clitoris region. I naturally thought it will go away. But it prolonged much longer that I expected.

A few months passed, and I still felt a strange sensation in my clitoris region. When I urinated, it felt like someone had punched me – it was sore. I refused to go for a health check-up as I didn’t want ANYONE to touch me. I didn’t want to touch it myself.

It’s coming to 10 months now past my baby’s birth, and my husband and I haven’t resumed sex yet. At first, I was fearful of the pain that might arise. Then, I didn’t want to experience any more intermittent sore sensation in my clitoris region. Thirdly, I didn’t have the sexual drive or desire mainly because I was breastfeeding.

I deeply pondered: Why am I still feeling this? Why does it still felt sore? Is it because of the FGC that my mother made sure I underwent when I was still a baby?

I haven’t talked to my mother about it yet. I guess no one talks openly about it. They just “snip it” when you’re a baby and everyone stays silent about it. I had many questions in mind! Was it done by trained personnel? Does the answer to that question matter anyway, since it’s wrong to do it?

My Baby and Social Pressure about FGC:

My mother kept insisting that I bring my baby for “sunat” to the clinic. She said it will be “over before you know it” – swiftly done.

My husband, on the other hand, refused to have it done to our daughter. He said women in his country did not have it done.

I started my own journey of reading and gaining more knowledge on FGC.

In 2016, at 30 years of age, it affects me now. I was upset that my mother did it purely due to social pressure. Even if you’re an educated woman, social pressure can still influence the way you make a decision.

I was in a mosque a few weeks back, a lady in her 50-60s approached me and chatted about my baby. She handed me her name card which indicated her business services. It read, “sunat perempuan”. I was shocked and disappointed. It is 2017, and still, this is being done by an unlicensed passerby who easily roamed the community promoting her services.

At present:

I joined a Facebook Group for young mothers in Singapore where women’s topics are discussed. One of the issues asked by many young mothers is “WHERE can I take my NEWBORN DAUGHTER for sunat? Which clinic is best?”

This question showed that young educated mothers are still unaware of FGC and its non-relation to Islam. They continue it because THEIR own mothers tell them to do it or that it is the NORM to perform “sunat” after you give birth to your newborn.

There they go, commenting and discussing the rate of several clinics, the packages that come with it (Ear Piercing + Sunat) and their good experience with the doctors who provided such packages to benefit themselves.

Every time I see such questions, I cringe. I commented on those posts about FGC but nobody has taken notice of my comments. Yes, I do hear mother’s voice that they are fearful to see the procedure done on their baby girls, YET they want it done. How conflicting! Other mothers who had undergone it with their newborn baby girls started giving reassurance that “it’ll be over before you know it. Stay strong mummy!” Subsequently, I messaged the mothers privately and gave them social media links (videos/texts) to educate themselves on FGC, especially on Islamic & social views.

It’s still a very long road to adjust the mindset of the Singapore Malay Muslim community on FGC. It’s done openly without a tinge of guilt in their hearts.

I’m sad it was done on me but I will NEVER let it happen to my offsprings.
When we educate the women, we educate the entire nation. Women have to choose wisely what is right and wrong. Don’t succumb to social pressure – just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t make it right.

A Bohra woman’s personal essay about her experience of Female Genital Cutting, published on Sahiyo’s blog last year, has won the prestigious Laadli Media Award for Gender Sensitivity 2015-16.

The essay, titled ‘It was a part of me…part of my womanhood‘, won the award for Best Blog in the ‘Web-blogs’ category in the eighth edition of the Western region Laadli Awards, which celebrate gender sensitive advertising and journalism in India. The award ceremony was held at Ahmedabad’s Gujarati Sahitya Parishad on February 23, with prominent dancer and artiste Mallika Sarabhai as the chief guest.

The winning essay describes the author’s memory of undergoing ‘Khatna’ and her struggle to come to terms with it. Read below the jury’s citation on her powerful narrative:

This essay was among the first few accounts of Bohra women willing to share their stories on Sahiyo’s blog when it launched in December 2015. Sahiyo believes in the power of storytelling and this blog is a story-sharing platform for all those who feel passionately about khatna or FGC and who wish to see the practice end.

We would like to say a big thank you to Population First, the organiser of the Laadli Awards, for honouring Sahiyo’s blog contributor through this award!