FGC in Asia:

• Female Genital Mutilation and Cutting in Asia Remain a Neglected Problem 
• FGC in Asia and the Middle East Map
• Following our report, Facebook removes ‘Islamic Female Circumcision’ page promoting FGM
• Report on Female Genital Mutilation in Dagestan Sparks Controversy in Russia
• Factbox: The hidden cut: female genital mutilation in Asia
• UNESCAP: Harmful Traditional Practices in Three Countries of South Asia: culture, human rights and violence against women
• Courageous Alumna Speaks Out for Maldivian Women
• A Truly Global Effort is Needed to Eradicate FGM by 2030
• Activist push for end to female genital mutilation
• Southeast Asia’s Hidden Female Genital Mutilation Challenge
• Asia Network to End Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting Consultation Report

FGC in Australia:

• Women Speak Out on Female Genital Mutilation in Australia
• Genital mutilation convictions overturned after new evidence showing victims remain intact
• High Court to hear appeal on female genital mutilation and prosecutors’ push for retrial
• High Court upholds NSW genital mutilation convictions

FGC in Canada:

• Canada lifts silence on FGM
• It’s Time for Canada To Play Its Part In Ending Female Genital Mutilation
• FGM, A Bitter Reality: Canada Needs To Do More
• Female Genital Mutilation in Canada and the Limits to Criminalization 

FGC in Colombia:

• Female genital mutilation in Colombia more common than assumed: UN
• ‘Cut with a blade’: Colombia indigenous groups discuss FGM

FGC and COVID:

• Is the Pandemic Causing a Surge in Female Genital Mutilation

FGC in Egypt:

• Egypt: The Law and FGM

FGC and Islam:

• Islam and female circumcision
• Muslim doctors against female circumcision
• Debunking the Myth that Islam Requires Female Genital Circumcision
• Unmuting the Tabooed: FGM and Muslim Women’s Rights

Sahiyo co-founder Insia Dariwala has received the prestigious Women Have Wings Courage Award for her work to end Female Genital Cutting and bring attention to all forms of child sexual abuse. This award was instituted in 2012 to honor “women of courage who have taken bold risks to ensure a more just and peaceful future for us all”, and has been awarded to 31 women around the world so far.

Insia, a filmmaker based in Mumbai, is not only the co-founder of Sahiyo but also the founder of the Hands of Hope Foundation, which raises awareness about child sexual abuse through visual art and education.

According to her award citation, “Insia is an incredible advocate because she goes where the silence is. In the past few years, she has used her art to ensure that silent issues such as child abuse and FGM/C are brought into the light, discussed, and acted upon. Be it with diaspora communities in the US or back in India, Insia has been one of the faces and the voices of a small group of brave survivors denouncing the practice and calling for its eradication.”

To learn more about Insia’s award, click here.

લેખક : અનામી
વય ૩૧ વર્ષ
દેશ : અમેરિકા

મારી માતા ખુદાના બંદા અને દ્રઢ ધાર્મિક માન્યતા વાળા છે. દાઉદી બોહરા સમુદાયના જન્મજાત ધર્મગુરુને માનવાવાળો, તેમણે કદી પણ તેનો હિસ્સો બની રહેવાથી ક્યારેય આનાકાની નથી કર્યાં. ઝળહળતા, રંગબેરંગી હિજરી કૅલેન્ડર આધારિત દરેક પ્રસંગોમાં તેઓ અચૂક હાજરી આપે છે. દાયકાઓથી, આ હિજરી કૅલેન્ડરે, દરગુજર કરી નહીં શકાય એવા અંધકારને સંતાડવાના અને કોમની ઝાકઝમાળ જાહોજલાલીનો   દેખાવ કર્યે રાખ્યો છે. અમુક સમયથી હું કોમથી દૂર રહ્યો છું. અમારા કોમના અમુક હડહડતા જુથાણાઓ, ખાસ કરીને હિજરી કૅલેન્ડરમાં વાસ્તવિક સંબંધ ન હોય તેની વિરુદ્ધ મેં ઘણી વાર અવાજ ઉઠાવ્યો છે. લયલતુલ કદ્ર, રમઝાનની સૌથી મુબારક (પવિત્ર) રાત હવે હિજરી કૅલેન્ડર પર નાનકડું ટપકું બની ગઈ છે અને હિઝ હોલિનેસ, સૈયદના મુફઝ્ઝલ સૈફુદ્દીનનના જન્મદિન વડે ઢંકાઈ ગઈ છે, જે એ જ દિવસે આવે છે. મારી માતા મારી ટીકાઓને હળવાશથી નથી લેતાં અને હંમેશાં મને ખુલ્લું મન રાખવા જણાવે છે, એક મિનિટ માટે  કોમમાં બનતી ઘટનાને ભૂલી જવા અને કોમની રુહાનિયત તથા બંદગીની તાકાત પર ધ્યાન કેન્દ્રિત કરવાનો મને અનુરોધ કરે છે. તેઓ હંમેશાં એક દુષ્કૃત્યની સામે પવિત્ર બની રહ્યાં છે અને કોમની વ્યાકુળતા સર્જનારી અનેક સચ્ચાઈઓની તેઓ ઉપેક્ષા કરે છે.

પરંતુ બે મહિના અગાઉ, તેમણે ખત્નાની પ્રથા સામે પોતાનો આક્રોશ અને વિરોધ વ્યક્ત કર્યો ત્યારે હું ચોંકી ઊઠ્યો. આ વિનાશકારી અને જંગલી પ્રથા પર ‘સહિયો’એ વ્યાપક પ્રકાશ પાડ્યો છે. છોકરીઓ ધરાવતા તમામ પરિવારમાં અને ખત્નાને ખૂબ જ ગુપ્ત રાખતી કોમમાં હું ઊછર્યો હોવાથી, કેવળ ‘સહિયો’ મારફતે અને આ પ્રથાના લાંછનની અને તેમના જીવનમાં સર્જેલા દુખ:ની ચર્ચા કરવાની હિંમત દાખવનારી અનેક મહિલાઓએ લખેલા લેખો દ્વારા મને આ પ્રથા વિશે જાણવા મળ્યું હતું.

પરંતુ મારી માતાએ પોતાના અનુભવો વિશે મને વાત કરી ત્યારે હું સખ્ત આઘાત પામ્યો. આ ખૂબ જ ધર્મનિષ્ઠ મહિલા, જેઓ પોતાનું સમગ્ર જીવન બોહરા કોમ માટે હિમાયતી બની રહ્યાં અને ચોક્કસ પ્રથાઓ પ્રત્યે દુર્લક્ષ સેવવા પોતાનાં સંતાનોને ઉત્તેજન આપતાં રહ્યાં હતાં, આ ખત્ના પ્રથાની ઉપેક્ષા કરવા માટે ક્યારેય તૈયાર નહોતાં. તેમણે તેમના ભાઈને અને મને એમ જણાવ્યું હતું કે જો તેમને દીકરી હોત તો, કદી પણ તેમની સાથે આવું થવા નહીં દેતે. સાત વર્ષની કુમળી વયે પોતાના અનુભવની પીડાજનક વિગત અમણે જણાવી, જ્યારે તેમને ભારતમાં એક પાડોશીના ઘરમાં અંધારાં ભોંયતળિયામાં લઈ જવાયાં હતાં. ત્યાર પછીથી તેમણે વેઠેલી વેદના, આક્રોશ અને લૈંગિક હતાશા તેમની અશ્રુભીની આંખોમાંથી સરી પડ્યા અને હું પણ મારી પોતાની આંખોમાં પણ અશ્રુને રોકી નહીં શક્યો. અન્ય મહિલાઓની આપવીતીઓ વાંચીને મેં અનુભવેલો આક્રોશ પરાકાષ્ઠાએ પહોંચ્યો જ્યારે મને એવી પ્રતીતિ થઈ કે મને આ દુનિયામાં લાવનારી મહિલાને કેટલી વેદના થઈ હશે. એ મહિલા જેને મારા સમગ્ર જીવનમાં હું પ્રેમ કરતો આવ્યો છું, તેણે આ કોમને માફ કરી અને તેનો હિસ્સો બની રહેવા માટે મને ઉત્તેજન આપ્યું, કારણકે તેમની પેઢી માટે કોમ જ સર્વસ્વ છે અને જમાત ખારીજ (નાત બહાર) બનવાનો વિચાર – પરિવાર અને મિત્રોથી અલગ થવાનો ડર – તમારી વેદના, હતાશા અને આક્રોશને ગળી જવાની અને પૂર્વસ્થિતિ (સ્ટેટ્સક્વો)ને સ્વીકારવાની તમને ફરજ પાડે છે. પણ હવે એ બધું વધુ સહન નહીં થાય.

ખત્ના ફરતેની કદરૂપી ડાયન તેમજ બોહરા સમુદાયના અન્ય તમામ અન્યાયોનો સામનો કરવા માટેના હવે શક્તિશાળી વિકલ્પો ઉભા થયા છે. ત્રીસ વર્ષમાં પ્રથમ વખત કહેવાતા ધર્મગુરુઓ અને તેમના મળતિયાઓ ખૂબ ગભરાયા છે. ગુપ્તાંગ વિચ્છેદન (ખત્ના)ને મદદરૂપ થવા અને ઉત્તેજન આપવા બદલ, તેઓ અનિવાર્યપણે કાનૂની પ્રત્યાઘાતોનો સામનો કરશે એટલો જ ભય નથી, પરંતુ સાચો ડર મબલક નાણાકીય લાભો ગુમાવવાનો છે. રોકડ રકમથી ભરેલાં પરબીડિયાં, ઝિયાફતોમાં મળતા લાખો રૂપિયા/ડોલર, મકાનો, કારો અને પરંપરાગત હજારો નાના વહોરા ધંધાઓ જે એક જમાનામાં ઈજારાશાહી ધરાવતા હતા તેની પરનું સામાજીક અને નાણાકીય બન્ને નિયંત્રણ ગુમાવવા લાગ્યા છે.

આવા વધુ અન્યાયો પ્રત્યે આંગળી ચિંધાશે ત્યારે જ વધુ વહોરાઓ જે દેખીતી રીતે હજારોની સંખ્યામાં છે, તેઓ રૂહાની (આધ્યાત્મિક) જ્ઞાન મેળવવા માટે અન્યત્ર જશે. આવી નાણાકીય ખોટ સાથે તેઓ કદી વૈભવશાળી જીવનશૈલીને ટકાવી નહીં શકે જેમાં તેઓ ઊછર્યા છે અને દોમ દોમ સાહયબી ભોગવી છે.

પરંતુ ખાલી શબ્દો કરતા વાસ્તવિક કૃત્ય હંમેશા વધુ મોટા અવાજે પોકારે છે. પ્રથમ પગલું, જે આવશ્યક છે, તે પગલું આ પ્રથા વડે અસર પામેલી તમારા જીવનમાંની વિશેષ મહિલાને શોધવાનું છે, એ મહિલાની સાથે બેસો, તેની સાથે વાત કરો અને તેણે કેવી યાતના અનુભવી છે તેને સમજો. આવો પ્રચંડ ક્રોધ તમારામાં પણ પેદા થશે જે મેં અનુભવ્યો છે.

અત્યારે પ્રચંડ ક્રોધ વ્યક્ત કરવાની જ આપણા માટે આવશ્યકતા રહે છે. આપણી પેઢીમાં એવા લોકોની આપણને જરૂર છે જેઓ રોષે ભરાય. આ કોમનો ત્યાં સુધી બહિષ્કાર કરે જ્યાં સુધી તે લોકોની રુહાની જરૂરિયાતોની સેવા બજાવવા તેને સોંપાયેલી કામગીરીને પૂર્ણ કરવા માટે પાછી નહીં કરે. મઝહબી કોમ આવું કરી શકે અને આવી હોવી જોઈએ.

ખત્નાના પોતાના અનુભવ વિશે મારી માતાએ મને જે રાતે જણાવ્યું ત્યારે તેમની આંખોમાં જોયેલી વેદનાને હું કદી નહીં ભૂલીશ. હું તેની સાથે આગળ વધીશ અને આ પ્રથાનો અંત આવે એવું સુનિશ્ર્ચિત્ત કરવા માટે લડતો રહીશ, આપણે તમામેં પોતાના પક્ષે આવતી ભૂમિકા ભજવીએ તો આ પ્રથા કોમની અન્ય અનૈતિક પ્રથાઓની સાથે બંધ થશે. દિલમાં જોમ અને જુસ્સા સાથે આપને બધાએ આ કામગીરી બજાવવી રહી. આપણાં માતાપિતાની સાથે થયું હતું એવી રીતે આપણા જીવનનો નાશ કરવાની તેઓ ધમકી આપી નહીં શકે. અત્રે આપણી પાસે તમામ હથીયારો છે. સંગઠિત થઈને મજબૂત હાથ રમવાથી આપણે ડરવું નહીં જોઈએ.

This article was published in English on June 30, 2017. The English version can be found here.

By Mariya Taher

For the past decade, I have advocated against female genital mutiliation/cutting (FGM/C) by sharing my story, and by helping other women to share their own stories of undergoing FGC. My story has received attention from several media sources like NPR, USA Today, and ABC News (read Because I was Harmed on NPR Codeswitch).

In March 2017, StoryCenter led a digital storytelling workshop in collaboration with the Women’s Foundation of California to highlight the voices of women who participated in the Women’s Policy Institute. As an alumni of this program, I was invited to attend and share how I advocate to end FGM/C through storytelling. You can watch my story here. 

Most people believe female genital cutting only exists in other parts of the world, not in the United States. But in April 2017, a Detroit doctor was arrested for performing FGC on two seven-year-old girls. This doctor belonged to the same religious sect I grew up in, and the case highlights that FGC does continue to affect women living in the United States, even though laws banning the practice do exist (watch American Survivors of Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting Speak Out). In total, eight people have now been charged in connection to this FGC case in Michigan.

After going through the StoryCenter workshop experience, I came away knowing that I want to support other FGC survivors from my community in sharing stories of their experiences by also participating in a StoryCenter workshop. For centuries, women have been afraid to speak up because of a fear of being socially ostracized from their community, being labeled a victim, or getting their loved ones in trouble.

For too long, a silence on this form of violence has existed within this country.

We must break this silence.

I believe that a StoryCenter workshop will allow women to come together in a supportive environment so they can heal and reclaim a piece of themselves that was lost when they underwent FGC. I believe that this workshop will help build a critical mass of voices against FGC, and further demonstrate that there is a growing trend of support for abandoning this harmful practice.

In May 2017, I called on my family, friends, and community to help bring an end to the silence around FGC and the practice by donating to a campaign to allow 5-10 additional women living in the United States to produce and share their stories publicly.

This campaign raised over $6,000, and in the fall of 2017, the Wallace Global Fund came onboard to provide an additional $10,000 to ensure this project will come to fruition, and that the women’s stories will be distributed far and wide.

As a writer who has loved words since I first learned how to read, I know how powerful stories are in creating change in the world. They spark our emotions and wake us up to our reality. Too often in everyday life, we try and connect with each other on a rational level, but this isn’t always enough to change behavior. People must be emotionally engaged to understand what needs to be done.

StoryCenter’s digital storytelling platform will allow survivors to share their stories and directly engage with the broader community to stop FGM/C from happening to the next generation of girls. And I couldn’t be more excited to be working with StoryCenter in 2018 to carry out this first-of-a-kind workshop to raise the discourse on FGC in the United States.

A group of prominent medical bodies from five African nations have issued public statements in support of all programmes to end the practice of Female Genital Cutting and combat the medicalisation of the ritual. The statement was issued in the last week of September by the National Midwives Associations of Sudan and Djibouti, and representatives of several National Doctors Syndicates, Medical Councils and Associations from Egypt, Sudan, Yemen and Somalia.

These medical organisations issued the statement at Sharm el-Sheikh in Egypt, at a meeting on ‘The Role of Health-care Professionals in Combatting Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) in the Arab region’. The doctors and midwives expressed concerns about the growing medicalisation of FGM/C, a trend in which the procedure is increasingly being performed by medical practitioners in a clinical setting, rather than by untrained, traditional cutters. While medicalised FGM/C is believed to be more hygienic and less risky, it also promotes the false belief that the procedure is medically beneficial or acceptable.

In their statement, the medical organisations recognise the dangers of such medicalisation, the social and psychological impacts of FGM/C, and the fact that it is a violation of the rights of women and girls. In keeping with the ethics of medical practice, the statement pledges support to all national programs working to eradicate FGM/C. It also urges all governmental and non-governmental organizations to incorporate in their plans and programmes efforts to decrease the medicalisation of FGM/C.

Through this statement, the organisations have pledged to:

1. Participate in community awareness programmes in order to raise awareness about the medical and social consequences of FGC.
2. Make this information available in the mainstream, through continuous midwifery education programs for physicians, in order to prevent them from performing FGC and also engage with the community to raise awareness about it.
3. Train midwives about laws and legislations against FGC and its medicalisation.
4. Support the issuance of laws and make recommendations to the concerned authorities to penalize any healthcare professionals in their organisations if they are found to have performed FGC. The penalty could include cancellation of their licence to practice.
5. Act as instrumental partners to all national and regional organisations, to share experiences and good practices in this work.

The organisations that have endorsed this statement include the Egyptian Doctors Syndicate, the Sudanese Medical Council and OBGYN Association, the Yemeni Health Office for Al-Hudydah and Health Office for Hadramout, the Somali Medical Association of the Federal Government of Somalia, the Association of Midwives of Djibouti and the Midwives Association of Sudan.  

The public statement to end medicalization of FGC by various organizations and discussions and suggestions drawn at the meeting to reduce it will also play a role model for other countries to incorporate such programs in their own countries.

In India, the national medical community has not given much attention to the prevalence and practice of FGC among some communities. In August, after a Sahiyo investigative report that found FGC being practiced by some Sunni Muslim sects of Kerala, the state’s health minister ordered a probe into the matter and promised to take action against those found practicing FGC. The Kerala chapter of the Indian Medical Association also issued a press release taking a strong stance against FGC. The Association described the practice as “unscientific and against medical ethics”.

Earlier, in June, the national president of the Indian Medical Association told the Times of India that the IMA condemns the practice of FGC in all its forms, and would probe into any complaints of doctors promoting FGC.

However, Indian medical bodies are yet to make an official statement about FGC and its medicalisation, and Sahiyo urges the Indian medical sector to take a stand on FGC as soon as possible.

By: Anonymous

Country: Colombo, Sri Lanka
Age: in her 50s

Circa 1970s, I was seven years old.  

I hardly have any memories of my life during this period and most are vague, but I do remember almost every waking minute of one particular day.

I woke up, I guess like any other ordinary day, had breakfast, and then was told by my mother to get in the car and that she was taking me somewhere. 

Whilst in the car, my mother who was driving, told me I should not tell anyone nor talk about where I was being taken that day. I was a fairly obedient and non-confrontational child, so obviously didn’t ask too many questions.

We arrived at a house, not too far from our own place, and I was taken in by my mum. My favourite Aunt was there too. I was happy to see her.

Next thing I remember I was in a room, laying on a table. I remember my aunt by my side, the doctor and his wife were in the room as well (I came to know that this was the doctor and his wife, later on in my life, I didn’t know this at the time). I don’t have a memory of my mother in the room, maybe it’s something I’ve blocked out, or maybe she was upset at what was going to happen and didn’t stay in the room. I remember two or more people holding down my legs. I’m not sure if I was screaming or protesting, I don’t have a memory about this, but I do remember PAIN, EXTREME PAIN, UNBEARABLE PAIN. Throughout this ordeal, my favourite aunt was by my side, obviously comforting me.

My next memory of the day was arriving home, I remember there being discomfort between my legs. I was kept in my parents room the entire day. They were exceptionally caring and sweet to me that entire day, and my naughty mischievous brother was not allowed anywhere near my vicinity.

I do not have any further memories of the immediate days that followed, which obviously would have been some sort of recovery period.

During my mid-teens is when I realised exactly what had been done to me that day as a seven year old child – circumcision, the cutting off of the clitoris, also known as female genital mutilation – FGM. As a young teenager I did not have access to much information about what a terrible act this was, but I knew enough with the trauma I went through, to know that this should never have been done to me.

At this point I would like to state that although the responsibility for this act, which we call Khatna in our community, lies solely with my parents, I DO KNOW, that if they had ACCESS to the right information, that FGM was a heinous act of violation upon the female body, they would not have gone ahead with it. (After all, it was officially banned by the UN sometime in the 1990s, so there must have been so little awareness about this in the mid 70s).

I know this, because when my daughter turned seven years old, this topic arose, and we were expected to do this for her as well. Both my husband and I were vehemently against this and were not willing to budge on our decision. We explained our case to my parents and made them aware that the UN banned it, they realised then that they were not informed of these views and easily accepted our decision.

I belong to the Bohra community which has its roots in Mumbai India, and I am born and bred in Sri Lanka. The practice of FGM or Khatna has been in our community for many generations. The apologists in our community often argue that we in the Bohra community administer this in a hygienic sterile environment, performed by formally qualified MBBS doctors in our community, thus claiming that unlike the ways it’s done in Africa, where many of the cases are prone to severe infections and sometimes fatalities, we don’t have such cases. I firmly believe that FGM, regardless of how, when and where it is performed should not be done to children who have NO SAY in it. No one has the right to violate or mutilate the body of young girls and modify them permanently. Many clerics in our community claim that this is done to cull the sexual pleasure in a woman, allowing her to be more devoted and committed to her husband’s desires. From my own experience, there is no truth to that idea. Thus the whole purpose of this practice is not achieved.

I’m happy to have shared my experience, and sincerely hope that the purpose of publishing my story will be achieved with the immediate banning of FGM in Sri Lanka.

In October 2017, Sahiyo hosted Thaal Pe Charcha (loosely translated as ‘discussions over food’) for the third time, with 22 participants from the Bohra community. Thaal Pe Charcha is a flagship Sahiyo programme that brings Bohra women together in an informal, private space so that they can bond over traditional Bohra cuisine while discussing Female Genital Cutting and other issues that affect their lives. While Sahiyo’s first two TPC events were open only to women participants, the October event included 15 women as well as three men from the Bohra community in Mumbai.  

Most of the women who participated in the event had already attended the previous two TPC events held in February and July. With this third event, their comfort level in discussing FGC had grown. These women also brought their friends, cousins, and other relatives to join in on the discussion. Some women expressed that they had cautiously begun speaking about FGC with their families, friends, and spouses, which they had never done earlier. The women also spoke with their spouses about not performing FGC on their daughters.

The new women participants were able to clear some of their doubts about FGC and asked questions about why it is performed and why we need to stop practicing it on the next generation. Conversations about FGC have always been taboo and secretive in the community, so being in a safe and intimate space at the TPC helped the women discuss it openly.

By listening to the stories and concerns of the women, the men who attended the Thaal Pe Charcha were able to get a deeper understanding of how the practice affects women. They were very open to discussing FGC and even suggested several ways to raise further awareness about the harms caused by the practice and how to promote the abandonment of FGC.  

One of the highlights of the event was having one of the women participants, Saleha, share her story of undergoing FGC. After listening to Saleha’s story, a few women and men were in tears. Some women said they experienced flashbacks to their own experience of undergoing FGC. Saleha sharing her story helped make other women feel comfortable talking about their own FGC experiences. Many women’s stories were similar in terms of how the cutting occurred, how they felt anger, fear, shame, depression, and a sense of being cheated by those they trusted.

Over lunch, men and women continued their discussion on FGC, as well as other various issues occurring within the Bohra community. Participants also discussed ways in which they could all work at the grassroots level to raise awareness about ending FGC.

By Shaima Bohari

Age: 21

Country: India

I don’t remember how old I was. I remember just that I was a very young girl. My family and I were vacationing in Indore, Madhya Pradesh, in a small house not far from my maternal grandmother’s in Noorani Nagar. My mother called me, told me to change and said my grandmother was going to take me out for a little while. Me being the weird kid I was, I got excited.

So we set out, my nani and I, on a little walk around the block. She explained to me that we were going to see an older lady who was going to help me with something that was for my own benefit. When we reached the house, my nani talked to this lady and introduced me to her. We went into a room in the back where three other older ladies were present. I was told to remove my pants and lie down on a mat laid out on the floor. I felt afraid and naked and my nani told me to just relax and held my hand. The women around me held down my arms and legs, keeping my legs apart. The lady of the house came in with something sharp in one hand and a cloth in the other, and she knelt down beside my legs. She used something like a glass to make a small cut and then pinched something near my vagina. I vividly remember screaming my lungs out and hitting and punching whoever was near my hands, flailing around like I was possessed. It was a short ordeal but it felt like hours had gone by since I’d left the house.

I was told to get up and get dressed. As far as I can remember I wasn’t bandaged or covered with anything but the clothes that I came with. My nani gave me an envelope with some money and asked me to give it as salam to the lady who had mutilated me just minutes before. I was crying even as I kissed her hand and then left with my nani for the walk back, in my blood-stained clothes. After we came home, my mom laid me down on the bed on a set of sheets. Again I was naked from the waist down, and was told to stay there until the bleeding had stopped.

I pushed that memory down and out, or at least I tried to. I could never really forget it though, and now I’m not sure I want to. It was a barbaric and horrible event that I had to go through, but I don’t want to repress it because clearly, that hasn’t worked until now.

I suffer from a myriad problems because of that one incident in my life. I still don’t know how to deal with it. I suffer from pain in my vagina, I can’t look at myself naked, I have self-esteem and body issues because every time I look at myself I feel dirty and violated. I doubt I will ever be able to have a relationship with my future spouse if I decide to get married because I can’t imagine it. I suffer from severe depression which, at least partly, stems from this.

To all the men who have the audacity to tell me that this barbaric mutilation of the female form is inconsequential and alright because it is a religious act: it’s easy for you to say this since you haven’t gone through the trauma. Also as we all know, this systematic, brainwashing and torturing of women is a weapon in your hands.

To all the women who defend female genital mutilation, I want you to know that you are an insult and a curse to all the women who have suffered from the traumas of FGM, and it is YOU who make it okay for men to abuse us. You give them the power to mutilate and oppress us when you stand against other women. Although I cannot speak for any higher power out there, you will find no forgiveness from me.

I also want to point out that although I do blame my grandmother, and my mother, and every member of my family who didn’t stop them, and those who let their own daughters, nieces, cousins, and granddaughters be mutilated, I understand that the majority of the blame lies with the institution that made them believe that this is righteous.

Finally, I ask anyone who reads this to talk to any woman you know about this. Tell them they’re not alone, and that it doesn’t make them any less of a human for having gone through this. Talk to other people, raise awareness about this inhuman practice, so that it is no longer a taboo topic. So that women everywhere are able to open up about their horrific past and know it wasn’t their fault.